Time...

Time seems to pass by so quickly.
At times I find myself wondering where time went.
Where has the Time gone?

We talk about time as if it was something tangible.

But time isn't tangible at all.
I can't feel time.
I can't touch time.
I can't see or smell or hear time.

But I can tell you that time has gone by in the blink of an eye.

I am sure there or poets or songwriters that can put this in words far better than I can.
But here is my inadequate attempt.

On the evening of my 47th birthday I find myself wondering when I came to be so old.

My earliest memory was when I had just turned 3 years old.


President Kennedy had been shot in Dallas.
It was the day of JFK's funeral and all businesses had closed for the day, even the refinery where my dad worked.
(I wonder if Bush was assasinated, would all businesses close for the day? Wait... that is another blog.)
My father was lying on the floor in front of the TV. He was lying on his right side with his head propped up on his elbow and I was sitting crossed legged in front of him leaning back using his stomach as my backrest.

He suddenly, a bit forcefully, and with the emphasis & the passion of most every Catholic in 1963, tapped me with his left hand on my left shoulder saying,
"Pay attention to this!
Some day your kids will ask you if you remember this day."

I remember thinking at the time.... "Some day I will have kids?"

That is my earliest memory.

So occasionally in the month of November, people ask if I remember what I was doing when Kennedy was shot.
I say, "no."
But I remember the funeral. I remember how my dad was home and not at work. I remember exactly where I was sitting, and the look of the room. I remember my mom sitting on the couch behind us, and my older sister Chris was there too. I don't have recollection of my younger brother Jeff.

Now 40 some odd years later and I find myself wondering how I came to be so old.

Where has the time gone?
How much time do I have left?

One of Jeff's favorite lines from M.A.S.H. is
"No one is promised tomorrow."

So I am working on living more in the present.
Not longing for what was.
Not looking for what will be.
But living and being with those who are with me now.

So Happy Birthday to me.
And Blessings to all of you who called, remembered, and helped me celebrate today in words, thought, wishes and prayers.
Love,
J