Summer time...

This summer has been quite busy.
Mostly it has been busy in a good way.
There have been so many graduations and weddings, celebrations and family gatherings, that have brought us together with family and friends.
It has been fun. I have no regrets in spite of our hectic pace.
Even going through my surgery and attending Cherie's funeral brought me together with family in a positive way.

But today...
I am tired.
Physically I know I need more rest, but I am mostly feeling emotionally tired.

As the end of July approaches and August looms large in the foreground I look at my calendar and see that I will be gone every weekend in August.

I am not wishing away all the good things to come in the next 30plus days, but I do find myself looking forward to the fall months and a slower pace of life.

I haven't had much time to myself. I am beginning to wonder when there will be time to rest, to relax, to unwind. But just when I get to the edge of feeling sorry for myself and wonder, when I will be able to do what I want,
I hear Jim saying,
"Julie, it isn't about you."

When I got married....
When I became a parent,
When I became a parent of eight children,
When I became committed to working for non-profits,
I gave up having much time to do for myself.

And for the most part, that is okay with me.
But for today, I am tired, I am emotionally drained, and I complain.

However, Tomorrow will be better.
As I make lists, get the house in order and spend time with Jeff before I leave,
I trust he will be okay
As I shop for groceries for the kids left behind and organize events and activities while I am out of town,
I hope they will be okay.
As I finish up some paperwork in the office and get the work groups organized,
I pray all will be okay.
As I pack to leave for Nebraska on Thursday and I look over my daughter's list of 'to-do's' for me to complete while I am in Kearney,
I have faith that she will be okay.

And ultimately I believe that I will be okay.