Experiment in macro

My crazy Christmas Cactus is blooming again.

I am lucky I guess. 
I have heard some people have these plants for years and they rarely bloom.
Mine seems to bloom 3 to 4 times a year.
So I took some time to play with my camera and experiment in macro photos.

It has such unique blossoms and I am intrigued by the stamen.

I wasted about 45 minutes taking the shots yesterday.

Today I have wasted more time in deleting most of them and saving just a few of my favorites.

Here are a few examples for you.

Additions to the April 16th post

I found a few more fire hydrants (or fire plugs)
that are worthy of adding to my blog from April 16th.
Lindsey led me to the puppy dog...

I also spotted a few last weekend that are unique...



I remembered taking a picture of a hydrant when in Sausalito with my sister last month...

I used a number of my fire hydrant photos in my final project.

I really like the very important fire plug that guards the Rogue Ale house in Astoria!


I have so many unique 'plugs' with great personality and style.

I don't know what to do with them other than write a children's book. 

So I think that will be my next project, just for Fun!

Final Projects

Tomorrow my final project for the photography class I have been taking is due.
Our assignment was to choose a theme, photograph our theme, and present it to the group for critique.
My biggest challenge was narrowing down my option of themes.
Tonight was 'shit or get off the pot' time.
I'm not sure I am happy with my theme and final project. But it's done.
I don't think the photographs are my best work.
But overall, it should pass.



I went with many of the fire hydrant photos I took throughout the past couple of weeks.
They speak to me in strange ways.
Each one stands alone, but seems to have a personality and a story that needs to be told.
Not unlike people.
So tomorrow is the big morning, the unveiling of the strange and weird way my mind works.
If no one likes my photos, that would be easier to take than if there is criticism surrounding my theme/thoughts.
But I will put myself and my work out there and see what happens.
After all, I have nothing to lose.




-- Post From DWNTWN's iPhone

Volunteer Opportunities Abound

Volunteer opportunities abound all over this City, State, and throughout the country.
I have always believed that volunteering is important and necessary.
I have also put my belief into action.

Most of my early years of volunteering were spent as a softball coach, chaperoning school field trips, and occasional church projects.

In 1993 we moved to Kearney and my volunteering became more deliberate.
Our oldest dayghter was refusing to participate in church youth activities,
so I began assisiting the youth minister dragging her along with me.
6 years later I became the youth minister and remained so until 2006 when we moved to Oregon.
It was a great opportunity for me.

Out of boredom I found myself on a Habitat build site shortly after making the move west.
Within 6 weeks time I stood in a room full of mostly young twenty-somethings in Provo Utah, right hand over my heart, left hand raised taking the Americorps VISTA pledge.  (Volunteers In Service To America).  The next 12 months held an incredible experience of volunteering with Habitat through the Americorps program.  I am grateful to have had the chance to serve and volunteer in this way.
My year of service leapfrogged me into 25 months of working on staff for Habitat for Humanity.
In December, I quit.

I have been looking for other opportunities to volunteer, and I found a few....
some with youth ministry,
a couple of school field trips...
and I am still volunteering with Habitat for Humanity.

But I need more.
I want to volunteer in a new area.
I want to volunteer at something different, something fun!

What better place than serving beer at a brewfest in a garden?

I like beer!
I like flowers!
I like being useful and helpful.
I like that enthusiasm at a brewfestival.
I like watching people and crowds interact.
I think it is a perfect volunteer opportunity for me.
I said, "Sign me up!"

Tonight is my first brewfest volunteer opportunity.
It is at the Oregon Garden in Silverton just a short 30 minute drive towards the mountains.
My son-in-law even has a couple of beers in the homebrew competition, all the way from Kansas!

I am anxious to see how this works out and if Mike wins.
I hope so.

If I enjoy this experience, I hope to volunteer for the mother of all brewfests...
the Oregon Brewer's Festival held in Portland July 22-25, 2010.  Check it out http://www.oregonbrewfest.com.

And watch for the follow-up blog and I'll let you know later how my new venture in volunteering plays out.

My catch for the weekend...

My brother in law, Dan, went bear hunting this past weekend.
I can't imagine actually going out looking for a bear.
I think I am more inclined to hide from, run from, and avoid at all costs, bears.

However, I did go out hunting and shot some wildlife,
and a few other things of interest.

Basic Photography

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a professional photographer.
My love for the camera and my desire to capture moments in time and create art from life began as a freshman in high school.
John Martin, an upper classman and classmate of my older, wiser, beautiful, and more popular sister, took me under his wing.
He taught me how to use an SLR 35 mm camera.
He also taught me how to get over my fear of the dark so I could develop and process my own film.

I still hate not being able to see, partly due to my poor eyesight and partly due to poor lighting.
But I am no longer afraid.

Several years later I spent a full semester of my senior year job shadowing a commercial photographer, Jim Meyer.  It was during this time that I learned the nuances and fun of shooting, developing and processing black and white photos.
I knew after that experience, photojournalism was the direction I wanted to head.

And I had set my sights on working for National Geographic.

But that was a long time ago....

Here I am 32 years later, re-learning the nuances of photography and in particular the nuances of Digital Photography.
And...
I am having fun!

The assignments are fairly easy and get me out of the house.
My latest assignment was to simply photograph one color, any color.
For some reason I chose yellow.
It is not my favorite color, but it just seemed as though I was supposed to shoot yellow.
Maybe because I think of it as a 'happy' color and the day we got the assignment it was overcast and gray.
The first thing I spotted was a bright yellow fire hydrant, then another, and another.
But they were all different.
And their settings seemed to give them character and a bit of charm.
I have started to see them a bit like little men, or sentinels.
Each one is unique and stands guard over their domain waiting for their opportunity to protect.

A few days after spotting fire hydrants close to home I wondered what the fire hydrants were like throughout Salem, and even in other cities.
I learned most of the fire hydrants in Portland are Orange!


I can't wait to go to the coast this weekend.  We get to go the the Brewer's dinner at Pelican Pub, walk the beach, maybe climb the big sandhill, but mostly I am anxious to see what the fire hydrants are like there.

I know....
I am a dork!

But if you want...
send me a picture of the fire hydrant closest to where you live or work.
I am curious!

P.S.  When I was out running errands today I took my camera along and found a few more fire hydrants to add to my collection.  Some appear to be kings with tall crowns, while others are just knights, and some are left to be pawns.  

Some hydrants watch over happy homes...

Some protect traditional homes... 

Some stand guard over nice neat homes....

And other hydrants aren't quite so lucky.

So much to say

I have so much I would like to blog about, but haven't been able to make the time lately.

I am enjoying my photography class and hope to share thoughts and photos here very soon,
but it looks like that won't happen tonight.

Finances, Good Friday & Dressing up

I have been unusually busy this past week and unable to make the time to blog.
The 'busy'  began last Friday, Good Friday.
Well actually 'busy' began the evening of Holy Thursday with Mass, followed by dinner at 9pm.

I got up early the next morning ready to handle the few items on my to do list.
It became apparent quite quickly that much of my Good Friday would be spent in my own form of suffering, prepping our finances and tax documents.

I am not a numbers person, but financial matters seems to land in my lap.
I can 'do' numbers, but it is not a gift or a talent of mine.
Nor is it a love for me.
So I just have to put my head down and suffer through it.

This had been something that had been put off far too long.
Procrastination was creating more hardship and worry than necessary and it was simply time to tackle it.

So Good Friday seemed a perfect time.

I surrounded myself with files, papers, bills, reports, documents, letters, and all the other parts and pieces necessary to making sense of the past two years.  I was armed with cans of Diet Coke and a granola bar and I began the task at hand.

By early evening I was brain dead and only 75% finished.
I seriously considered skipping out on Good Friday services.  But went anyway and was glad for it.

It was a late night when we returned home which turned into an early morning as I purged all my feelings of frustration and anger, fear and angst at the numbers task I had been facing.  My head hit the pillow around 4AM.  By Saturday afternoon I needed a nap and was questioning whether or not to attend the Easter Vigil Service which I knew would make for another late night.

But I love the Easter Vigil.
I haven't missed this wonderful celebration of our faith for 10 years.

However, I was not looking forward to tackling the production of getting the family all dressed up.
When one of the girls asked if she could just wear jeans, I reluctantly said, "fine".
I was tired and did not have the energy or the time to prepare or fix one more thing.

But surprisingly and thankfully, my son stepped in and said, "No mom.  Don't let her wear jeans. We should all dress up. It's Easter!"

This coming from my son who's jeans are never appropriately pulled up?
This from my son who wears a shoe string for a belt to make a 'fashion' statement?
I was surprised to have him speak up.
And I was grateful.
The Easter Vigil service did not disappoint.

And I was very proud of my kids.

I have continued to work on the remaining 25% of unfinished finances and paperwork this week and can't wait to finish and move on to something that fits my gifts and
talents a little more....
Photography!

I am going back to school for the first time since Aimee was a baby, 1986.
I am taking a short term photography and photoshop class this spring.

So stay tuned.....

What do you stand for?

Driving around Salem this afternoon I saw a bumper sticker that said,

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." Mother Theresa

I couldn't help but notice the hand grenade proudly displayed on the rear window, just above the sticker.

I made me wonder...

What do they stand for?

Life

or 

Death?

Maybe the Grenade sticker is representing the Grenade Glove Co 

or 

Green Day's Album. ( I can't remember the title off hand.)

Who knows...?  

But on first glance it seems to simply represent someone who is conflicted.

It made me think more about polarized situations in life.

There are a lot. 

Life isn't as Black & White as we would sometimes like it to be.

Most of life is lived in areas of gray.

However, I don't know how a person can be for both life and death at least not in the way that this Isuzu seems to be.

Wouldn't you always feel conflicted?

I have been conflicted before.

I have felt torn between 2 rights.

I have even felt torn between a right and a wrong.

But I would never post my confliction on the back of my car for the world to see.

I would rather struggle internally with whatever I am conflicted about.

I guess I am simply not a bumpersticker kind of gal.

I don't feel compelled to display my allegiance, whatever that might be, on my vehicle.

Those that know me know my beliefs, 

know my heart, 

but I don't particularly want to share with every one that I pass by on the street.

I guess this is because I don't like conflict.

In fact, most of the time I strive to avoid conflict.

I have taken up causes before.

I won't hesitate to champion for those in need.

But I see that differently than bumper stickers on my car.

Confronting or challenging others on behalf of those less fortunate feels different to me than sticking a sticker on my car.  To stand up in solidarity with those in need is something I generally won't shy away from regardless of the conflict required.

Maybe that is what Mr Isuzu is doing...

Championing for the causes he believes in.

For a short time,

I will continue to wonder what he stands for.

Night Lights

I have been trying to carry a camera with me most everywhere I go these days.
But last night I forgot.

I would have loved to captured these Metal Sculpture lights at the Max Station with something other than Jeff's 2 megapixel iPhone.
(My phone was going dead.)
But I think it did a decent job in capturing the night lights outside the Rose Garden.

Oh and by the way...
The Blazers made the playoffs for the second year in a row.
No small feat when looking at the injured roster list.
My friend Robert calls them the 'Frail'blazers!

I know next time I head to the Rose Garden I will have a better camera with me.

The Art of Power

About a week ago I shared my reflections from the book I was reading, 
The Art of Power.

I finished this a few days ago and have been digesting what I read and learned.

Times like these make me wish I had a gift for writing.

My mind has a tendency to ramble and roam around holding a multitude of ideas, thoughts, musings and philosophies all at once, making it quite difficult to ever get to a point or conclusion.

(You have most likely noticed this about me already.)

I have learned a few things about myself over the course of reading The Art of Power.

And I have read some things that I hope will stick with me for quite some time.

Never believing I was very good at writing book reports or succinctly sharing my thoughts makes me a bit nervous to blog about this.

Yet, I have a lot of thoughts that I need to share somewhere.

So here is my attempt....

In the introduction of the book I read, "When we live without awareness, without the ability to truly see the world around us, our life is often like a runaway train...Mindfulness is being fully present in the here and now, being in touch with what is going on inside us and around us."

So as one who has felt as though I was living my life on a runaway train heading someplace unknown, I was intrigued from the very beginning of the book.

Some people believe time is money, and that time is limited. And I suppose one could make a great case of proving this to be true. 

But for me, at this stage of my life, I have lots of time.

In fact, I have an abundance of time, and it's not at all about money.

Time is Life!

And Life is precious. 

We have just 24 hours each day to live life and I want to live mine in a mindful way present of the here and now, knowing that the Kingdom of God is at hand.

I have wasted too much time regretting the past or worrying about the future.

Too many days went by and I was not present.

Too many missed opportunities to be present when a friend was hurting.

Too many times I have shushed the kids because of my own thoughts or worries.

Too many days I went to sleep at night caught up in my own world of doubts or fears.

I plan to take some of this time to teach myself to be more mindful of the present, more mindful of the here and now.

In addition to learning to be present, I want to work on and share with my kids that true happiness and true power lie in understanding yourself, accepting yourself, and having confidence in yourself.

I struggled with understanding and accepting myself the past few years and realize now that I was looking for acceptance from my workplace, my job, from other people.  
I wanted to be valued. 
I wanted to feel important. 

Yet, no matter what I did, it wasn't enough. 

I lost confidence in myself and my spirit suffered.

I know I am not alone in this.

So many of us look outside ourselves for acceptance and worth.

It is part of our human frailty.

I see my children struggling with understanding and accepting themselves and not being confident in their own goodness.  
I know that this is part of life and especially part of the teen years.

But I want to help them through this and I hope by being more mindful and more present that they can see their own value.

Beauty comes from being yourself.

You don't need to be seen as beautiful by others to be accepted.

You just need to see the beauty within yourself.

I used to know this.

My mom taught me this when I was much younger.

But I forgot that lesson in living life on a runaway train.

Life is a bit more stable now.

I feel a bit more grounded.

And I have more time to experience life.

And with life and a bit of mindfulness can come happiness, peace and love.

That is the true Art of Power.

AARP? Really?

Today in the mail I received my invite to the AARP.
Really?
Can I be so old already?

I know I turn 50 this year, but I have 6 months left of my 40's.
It isn't that I am scared to reach 50 years of age, half a century of life.
It is that I wonder how 50 years has passed so quickly.
Where did the time go?
Where did my life go?
What happened to all the things my 8 year old mind thought I would have done by now?

And how do I begin to accomplish some of those things now?
How much time do I have?
If 50 years has come and gone in a blink of an eye,
how fast will the next 50 years come and go?
What if I am not fortunate enough to live another 50 years?
What if I am not healthy enough to live to 100.

Perhaps I should start watching what I eat more, exercise more, drink less, stress less.

Oh wait, can I stress less and drink less at the same time?

Oh so many questions from simply opening the mail.

-- Post From DWNTWN's iPhone

Go to the Places that Scare you.

I saw a book a month or so ago that caught my eye.  It was titled,
“Go to the places that scare you.”
I didn't pick it up at the time instead getting "The Art of Power".
A few days ago, in another blog I read, I came across the title again, “Go to the places that scare you.” It is written by a Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron.
( I may have to read this next. )

This has made me think and reflect on,
When recently have I gone to a place that scares me?
When was the last time I risked?
Took a chance?
Stepped out and stepped up?

Lent is rapidly winding down and we are nearing Holy Week.

I have to ask myself what I have I done to walk closer with God these past 30 days or so?

We talk about Lent being a time in the desert. a time of sacrifice, of searching, of seeking God, of trusting that we will find God.

I've been to the desert.  I find it to be a scary place, beautiful in it's own way, but scary.  The heat can over take you quickly.  There is not much to offer shade from the sun and the heat.  If you don't have adequate water you can die.  Not to mention the scary creatures; lizards that look like they come from someplace prehistoric, poisonous snakes, and things that live in the cacti.

But that’s what the Spirit made Jesus do... go into the desert for 40 days....
– to go to the places we would rather avoid, to go to the places that scare you takes faith.
And we go because something essential happens there.
That’ s where life gets real.
But there is danger in my complacency as well.
The danger is different than that of the desert, but it is there and it is just as real.
Hidden in my complacency is laziness, apathy, distrust, and lack of faith.
Throughout Lent I have contemplated,
thought about,
recommitted myself,
and started over again.
I have been easily distracted.
I lost focus, forgetten about why I should 'go to the desert'.
It has been easier to go about life not giving anything up, not sacrificing much, not going any place that might scare me.
I would not consider my Lenten Journey successful... yet

But its time.
It's time to risk.
It's time to face the things that frighten and scare.
It's time to let something essential happen to me.

The Secret to Happiness

I’ve been slowly working my way through a book by Thich Nhat Hahn titled

The Art of power.
I’m in search of that occasionally or often times elusive inner peace and happiness.
I know it needs to come from within, that is where I found it before.
Happiness can’t be handed to me, purchased for me, or prayed over me.
I have to re-discover and uncover its secret all on my own.

I am only able to absorb this book a chapter or two at a time.
Today I read the 2 chapters; Getting What We Really Want and The Secret to Happiness.

A number of concepts and ideas are rolling around in my head.  I want to spend more time with the simplicity of, 

“Your action, what you do, depends on who you are.  The quality of your action depends on the quality of your being… To make another person happy you have to be happy yourself.  So there is a link between doing and being.  If you don’t succeed in being, you can’t succeed in doing. 

Happiness becomes possible when we realize we have a path, when we know where we are going. If you don’t have the impression that you are on the right path, if you don’t know where you are going, you suffer, you feel lost and confused.  Happiness is feeling that you are on the right path every moment.  You don’t need to arrive at the end of the path to be happy.  You are happy right here and right now.  

…  When you have a path and you enjoy every step on your path, you are already someone.  You don’t need to become someone else.  You already are what you want to become, practicing nonaction, the art of being. 

… When we pursue individual happiness, our satisfaction is always ultimately fleeting, because individual happiness is not possible.  Our happiness, our existence, is dependent on the existence and happiness of everyone and everything else “

Since quitting my job in December, well, no that isn’t true…
Since leaving my job in the summer of 2006 I have been wandering and wondering if I was on the ‘right path’.
My spirit has felt lost.
I have been confused.

I am hoping I am on the right path now.
I believe I am on the right path now.
I hope this path is a path of happiness for everyone and everything else.

Because if it is, then I too will find the happiness I have been searching for.

My Edge of the world

I've never tried to post a video in my blog before.
But I thought since I haven't blogged in 5 days and I have some time by myself right now that I'd give it a shot.

http://gallery.me.com/jbrownflash/100150/The%20Edge
I brought the girls here for a jump start to their spring break and it is definately spring like weather.


Usually at the coast I need a couple layers of fleece.
But not today.



A simple short sleeve T and this gorgeous sun is all I need.
And this camera,
And I need these sunglasses,
And This beer,


And I need this...

Well if you've seen the movie The Jerk then you are finishing the blog for me
:-)

If you copy and paste the link to the video it should work.
http://gallery.me.com/jbrownflash/100150/The%20Edge
I had trouble posting from my phone.
-- Post From DWNTWN's iPhone

Location:Pacific City,United States