The Competitive Spirit

Competition: the act of competing; rivalry for supremacy, a prize.


I have just attempted to settle a Monopoly war between the girls. The yelling and crying could be heard throughout the house and most likely throughout the neighborhood!

The competitive spirit runs strong in our children and often is the cause of arguments and fights. I don't think any of our kids are afraid to take on a fight nor are they willing to back down once they are in the midst one.

I think they get this from their father who grew up in a very competitive family. If his family were to have a philosophy it would be, "if you are going to play, then play to win." It doesn't matter whether it is a card game, board game or general topics for discussion. I think they often take this philosophy to the extreme. In fact, when my husband was a young teen he even wrote to Milton Bradley for clarification on a Monopoly ruling that was the source of an argument he was having with his older sister. Of course, he was in the right and couldn't wait to point this out to her.

I, on the other hand, grew up in a family that had a vastly different philosophy. I would say it was more along the lines of, "You better play to have fun, and if it isn't fun for one then it isn't fun for anyone." I, myself, am non-confrontational and not very competitive. With one exception.... when I am playing against my husband.

My husband claims I turn everything with him into a competition. I don't understand this about myself. Why does it bother me to lose to the one I love? Why do I do react this way only with him? I don't have any answers.

So I have to admit the competitive spirit within our children must come from both of us, their parents.

But I think it is my job to help them strike a balance between the competitive drive to win and the desire to play for fun making sure everyone is having a good time.

After all, if it is just a game, shouldn't it be Fun?