7 weeks ago and in between

Warning: Anyone reading this should be aware of the disjointed, difficult to follow, nature of my thought process today. That and I am sitting at Boons working on a Long Island Ice Tea.

7 weeks ago...

Without my blog I wouldn't be able to tell you what I was doing or what I was thinking on June 8th, 2009, 7 weeks ago.
So how do I begin to recap all that has happened in between now and then which has been 47 days or so?

I guess I start with now....
I am troubled, I am struggling, questioning, searching, doubting....
I suppose that is what brings me to blog more often than not.

When things are good I have less tendency to make time to blog.

I guess that means for the most part the past 7 weeks have been filled with a lot of good things.
Just to name a few:
I had a girls graduation weekend at the coast with Caroline, Jacquie and Laura in Mid June when school was out.
Melissa, Justin and the boys were out for a visit the end of June-first part of July.
We had a fabulous time!

Mike and Aimee drove out and were able to stay here for a few weeks too!
That was awesome!
The whole family was together. That hadn't happened in over a year.


We have been to Coos Bay and Sandfest where I had the time of my life pretending to be a real photographer.

Our 4th of July and Birthday celebrations at the Ervin's in Portlands have to be highlights as well.
Brad has been with us this summer giving us time for great conversations. In addition he has been incredibly helpful in cleaning and making repairs around the house, the yard, and the garage.
We have enjoyed the World Beat festival, the Brewer's festival and took a tour of a lighthouse.


We had a fun evening with Craig when he was in town and are looking forward to more visitors next week and even next month for our anniversary.

Things at home and with the family are pretty good. Naturally with this many of us, there are always family financial matters to deal with, but those matters are not so heavy that they outweigh all the good. I am thankful that we have so many blessings in our lives.

So what brings me to my, at the moment, now, mood?

Work.

I could write a book on all the issues in, around, through, and out that make working at this Habitat affiliate a struggle. But I won't.

I just want to know:
How long should one person continue working at something that causes so much stress in their life?
When should a person decide they can no longer make a difference?
When is the sacrifice and affect on the family too much? I know Jeff has to be tired of my whining.
When is the money more important than the emotional well being?
How do I learn to just do what I can and let go of what I can't?

I am so glad I got to talk with a good friend this morning.
We hadn't connected in while and hearing her voice was comforting.
When we hung up she said, "Get back to work of saving the world."
I know she meant this in the best way.

But it got me to thinking....
Is that what I am trying to do?
Am I attempting to 'save the world'?
And is that keeping me from being a good mom?

Even though I have more thinking to do, writing helps me put things in perspective.
Because of my blog I am able to stop and reflect.
What rises to the surface of my memories are the joyful, happy, events and experiences, not the work struggles.
That is a Good thing!

Here's to more time to reflect and to write!