Falling Behind

It feels as though I am falling behind.
Not the same kind of falling behind as when I was working well over 40 hours a week.
That kind of falling behind was more like watching too many things fall through the cracks at work, and slip through my fingers at home.  That was an overwhelmed flailing my arms trying to keep my head above water kind of feeling.

This falling behind is different that is for sure.

I feel like I am falling behind in Life.
Its not a scary feeling.
Its not a desperate feeling.
Its not a sink or swim kind of feeling.

Its a wondering and wandering feeling.

I feel like I have been wandering around without a map or a trail to follow.
I am unsure where I am going or how to get there.
But my challenge is most days I am fine with wandering.
The scenery is quite nice, and the weather is too. 

So I am meandering around, taking care of daily needs, surviving quite fine, and taking some nice photos.  For the most part, its all good.

Yet I remain without a direction or course.

This makes me wonder what I should be doing, where I should be going, what is around the next bend.
Or is there even a next bend.  Maybe I am supposed to just learn to 'be' where I am at.
Its all very confusing to me when I make time to think about it.

I imagine this slow pace of life that involves just day to day needs might sound like a very nice pace of life to most folks.  And I will admit to enjoying most of the 'falling behind' pace I've been on this summer.  It has afforded me many luxuries of time with the kids and with family.

But summer is coming to a close.
The kids are preparing to get back to the business of learning.
And then what?

What will I do?
Where shall I go?
What direction am I to head?

And How far behind will I be?

I guess that is to be considered and contemplated later, perhaps next month.

Ahead in August remains more time to wonder and wander as I meander my way back to Nebraska with my spouse of 30 years and we take time to explore and experience some amazing National Parks.

Best of all is another chance to see our oldest daughter, her husband, 2 grandsons, and road trip back to Oregon with another daughter following close behind.

Its all good!