Sisters....

For weeks now this blog has been rolling around in my head and in my heart.
I have had trouble starting it because I didn't exactly know how to begin.
But since I can't get this out of my head and heart and onto paper (or cyberspace) I have been stuck in all my other writings.
So I begin not knowing exactly where this is going or where it will end up. All I know is I need to write and I need to write about my sister.

I grew up in a fairly large family. I was number 2 of 7, four girls and three boys, and I was only 16 months younger than my older sister Christy.
For the majority of my 18 years in my parent's home, I shared a room with my sister.
We slept together, played together, cooked and cleaned together, and ate together.
We fought with each other, learned from each other and matured with each other.
My sister and I were the quintessential kids who grew up together in the 60's and 70's.
I would tell you, if asked, that I had a great childhood. Looking back it is mostly good memories that rise to the surface. I have to dive down deep to retrieve bad memories and I choose not to dive.

As I recall ---- Chris and I were opposites;
She was pretty, I was not,
She was smart, I had to study a lot!
She was athletic, I was a clutz.
She was brave, I just wasn't.

Christy did everything before I did, she did everything first.
She was the first wear make-up,
shave her legs,
to drive a car,
to have a boyfriend,
and the first to get grounded.

Christy was a pioneer, a risk-taker,
and the leader of all of us who were younger than her in our family.

I was very content living in her shadow.
She took me places that I would have never gone on my own.
I watched her and learned from her.
She made life interesting for me and I found comfort in exploring the world in her shadow.
We were very different in appearance and in personality.
Most people would not have picked us out of a crowd as sisters,
but sisters we were, through and through.

But after 18 years things changed.
The catalyst----
Well I have my ideas, but that is a different blog altogether.

After 18 years I became the first, the oldest, if you will.
Not by choice mind you, but by circumstance.

I was the first to greatly disappoint my parents,
the first to get married,
the first to have children,
the first to skip out on family events.

Over the next 10-20 years my sister and I grew apart. We had husbands, children, new careers, and we had separate lives.
We stayed in touch as family members do, but we were both different and this created distance. And in some ways the distance and the difference was okay, accepted as normal, just part of our lives. But low and behold here we are nearly 20 years later, reunited.

We don't live together, but we do sleep in the same hotel room when we have time for sister 'getaways'. We play together, travel together, cook and clean together. We also reminisce together and celebrate together.

I find it interesting and a blessing that I can be with my sister and be the person I am today without reverting back to my childhood persona.
I am more self-assured, more confident, more intelligent than I felt as a teenager growing up in my older sister's shadow. And she still accepts me!

I haven't always felt accepted by others and knowing I am accepted by my sister is a treasure.

Now that we live a short 57 miles apart we are enjoying this rediscovery of sisterhood and even a bit of sibling rivalry!
At 47 years of age I can even laugh when my sister calls me a 'bitch'.
Being a sister is fun again!

Chris, I love you!

Waiting....

I'm waiting.
Waiting in a doctor's office waiting room.
I've never been very good about waiting.
It is especially difficult to wait when the whole purpose of the waiting room is to do nothin g but wait.
If I were in charge I wouldn't call it the waiting room. It just sets those of us up that hate waiting for a disappointing time.
I would call it the magazine room or the reading room.
Maybe the napping room or the tranquility room.
there is always the option of the fish aquarium room or if you want to be literal...
the sit by some stranger and hope you don't catch what they have room.

It doesn't matter what they call this room. I still have to wait.

Oh they called our name! Now we get to wait in the exam room.

Why do they have to call it the exam room?

Never mind...

Spirals...

I am just struggling right now.

I have a tendency to spiral down in my mood at times and today is one of those days.

I have felt it building the last few days and today it has hit me hard.

Over the years I have gotten better at recognizing this in my self and coping with it better, but I can't seem to prevent it.

I am just feeling incredibly down, sad, alone.

I am guessing it is brought on by the kids leaving, the constant pressure of fixing things here at work, the messy house I have waiting for me to get time to clean it, and no time to recover.

When I get this way my desire to run is strong. In years past, I had no place to go, except perhaps to the grocery store. But here in Oregon there are some great places to run to. Today the temptation to run to the coast or run to the mountains is strong.

It is hard not to leave my desk, get in my car, and run away even if only for an afternoon. When I talk about running away of course I don't mean it literally. I suppose what I am really talking about is I need an escape. I want to escape all of this, even escape myself and this dreary mood I find myself in.

But the responsible side of me is just as strong as my desire to run and I know I will stay until the work is done.
Well,
I will at least promise to be back at my desk after lunch.

I'm not sure when I will get time for the work at home.

Gifts

Gifts,
They come in all shapes, sizes, forms, and all manners of presentation.
I received many gifts through the holidays; clothes, a coat, scarf, books, future spa day, handmade crafts from my kids, and my most recent gift, an orchid.

The orchid was a gift from Samantha Dupuy. Sam is an exchange student from France studying architecture at UNL. She bravely came to Salem to spend her break with our crazy family. And she has survived.

Well, actually, she has more than just survived.
She has fit in quite well. We have enjoyed getting to know Sam, we have enjoyed her accent, and the way she plays board games with us even though she doesn't know all the words. She is a very good cook and we have enjoyed the french foods she has introduced to us.

Our family is a little bit bigger this year as we now include Sam as one of us.
I don't know if she will ever make it back to Salem, but our lives have been gifted by her presence and she will always be a part of us.

21 days...

It has been a great 21 days.

21 days of spending time with my adult children.
Some of this time was in Nebraska and much of it was spent here in Salem.
But regardless of where, it has been memorable.

It sometimes is difficult to go back and recall all the conversations, the laughter, the memories I thought I would always remember. Yet some things I can recall like a snapshot in my mind.

The holiday break this year is coming to a close as Aimee and Mike leave on Wednesday and Brad and Samantha leave on Thursday. We have had trips to Portland, the coast, Multnomah Falls, Silver Falls and a multitude of trips to the grocery store!

With a house filled with hungry kids on break we make trips to the store every day and sometimes multiple trips. But it is all worth it to have eight kids back in the house even if they aren't the same eight I started with. Sometimes we numbered 10 kids and on a number of occasions there were 15 of us for meals.

I have for the most part embraced the chaos. Only a couple of late nights did I have minor 'melt-downs'where I longed for a few minutes of peace and quiet, and found myself hiding in my room until someone sought me out to make dinner, watch another movie, or join in on the board game.

I have enjoyed family time with our kids and their friends as well as with my sister and her family.

At the end of this week I imagine I will be torn between missing the extra company and embracing the quiet routine of only four kids.

Quiet routine of only four kids....

Who am I kidding? There will still be chaos, just a different level of chaos!

More Sacred moments...

It has been a great trip back to Nebraska.
There a a few people I would have loved to see and couldn't,
(Jim, Jack, Pat, Deb, Lisa & Patty, but...

I had 18 hours with Brad,

I had more than that with Melissa, Justing and Cale,



and I was able to go to Miechelle's hooding ceremony.


And if that wasn't enough...
I had two wonderful nights with Matt and Charlie,
and a great conversation with Bishop D.

I get to see another old friend tomorrow and then I head home.

But in spite of all these Sacred moments...
I am ready to go HOME!

and Home is in Oregon now.

79 and counting

The last week has been a bit stressful making it difficult to find the sacred in every day.

Last night was about as stressed as I have been in a while, But thanks to a listening ear I was able to settle down and make it through the evenings events.

I ended up at my 79th children's concert last night.
79 seems like an large number of concerts to sit through over the years and I know I will hit a hundred before the kids are out of school.
I struggle to go to these and not feel as if I am wasting my time.
But the look on Jacquie's face when she saw me, and the enthusiastic waving made me glad I was there. It was a holy night.

This morning I am sitting in PDX waiting on my flight to OMA. The week will be fast and furious with lots of people to see, the celebration for Miechelle's graduation, and all too little time for my grandson and daughter.

But I am glad to be able to steal away for even a short time.

So I am waiting, I am trying to let go of all I left behind, and I am striving to just be present and find the sacred in every day.

Something Sacred...

Something Sacred is at stake in every moment.

I've been reflecting about this lately.

I am reading a book by Ken Gire called Seeing What is Sacred: Becoming More Spiritually Sensitive to the Everyday Moments of Life.

If anyone is reading my blog I imagine you are thinking the title alone sounds 'flaky' and would be enough to make you run away.

But, not me.
I was drawn to the book.
I think I was drawn to it primarily because of the title.
I was also drawn to it because I don't think I do this very well; notice the sacred.

(It helps that I have read other books by Ken and liked them.)

I don't take the time to find God in the everyday moments of life, yet I know God is always there.
I want to notice more.

I made time to just lay on the couch with Laura tonight. As she gets taller and we both get bigger I realize these opportunities are limited. I also made time for myself tonight. Music only I like, and lots of hot water and bubbles.

It seems to me that much of what is sacred gets hidden in the ordinary day to day activities in our lives. For me to take notice, for me to see something of the sacred, I need to slow down, reflect more, notice more.

I learned that the word reflect comes from two Latin words: re, meaning 'back' and flectere, meaning 'to bend'. To reflect then is to bend back something. I guess much like a mirror bends back an image of ourselves.

Learning to be more reflective isn't easy for me.
It takes time.
It takes quiet.

It takes quiet time alone for me to be reflective and there isn't much of that in our household.

But I am making a concentrated effort to at least take notice, to watch for the ordinary, everyday moments where I know something Sacred is at stake.

Americorps VISTA

November 30. 2007 is my last day as an Americorp VISTA Volunteer.
My mission has been a simple one...

Help Others Help Themselves

AmeriCorps*VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America) provides full-time members to nonprofit, faith-based and other community organizations, and public agencies to create and expand programs that ultimately bring low-income individuals and communities out of poverty.

Through AmeriCorps*VISTA, ordinary people provide extraordinary service in more than 1,200 projects nationwide.
AmeriCorps*VISTA Works through the members who leverage human, financial, and material resources to increase the capacity of low-income communities across the country to solve their own problems.

When VISTA members complete their service, they leave behind lasting solutions to some of our country's toughest problems.

As I come to the end of my year of service as a VISTA, I can't help but ask myself, "have I left behind lasting solutions to my community's housing problems?"

It is difficult for me to answer this in a positive way. It feels as if I have spent my past year solving problems, but just the average, ordinary problems that anyone could solve.

I have answered e-mails, returned phone calls, scheduled groups, written and mailed out thank you letters, hammered, painted, planned, listened and completed a thousand other small tasks.

But leave behind a lasting solution to my community's tough problems? I have to say no.

Since 1965, more than 140,000 Americans served through VISTA. Today, nearly 6,000 AmeriCorps*VISTA members serve throughout the country—working to fight illiteracy, improve health services, create businesses, increase housing opportunities, bridge the digital divide, and strengthen the capacity of community organizations.

But not me.

So I have chosen to continue on at Habitat for Humanity Mid-Willamette Valley. There is still much work to be done.
I do think I can make a difference.
A small difference anyway.
I don't have any idealistic or romantic thoughts of what this might look like. I know I will continue with ordinary tasks in ordinary ways, but I remain hopeful that something I do someday will make an extra-ordinary difference in the life of just one child, one new homeowner.

I guess time will tell.

So I am off to bed to get some sleep before I start my last VISTA day, another ordinary day. Perhaps a day to make a difference.

Distractions!

I made a bit of a self discovery this weekend.

I discovered that distractions are a good thing, they help me feel more balanced, feel more complete.
Most of the time I balance life between kids and work.

The past 15 months I have been consumed with just those two things, the house and work.
Upon moving to Oregon, I got caught up in unpacking, organizing, arranging and rearranging our possessions and our lives.

For perhaps the past 6 months or more there was no longer much need to organize the house and kids except for the minor day to day details. This left me with mostly work to focus on.

It had been such a long time since I had something in my life beside kids and work. I doubted myself and whether I was ready for 4 days of only kids. I wasn't sure I could spend four days just cooking and cleaning without going crazy.

But Thanksgiving break came and was staring me in the face.


Thanks to a listening ear that pointed me in the right direction I felt ready to face our first holiday without extended family, without work.


And it was great.


There was time with the kids, teaching the girls to make homemade pies, preparing turkey and dressing, and making homemade crescent rolls (grandma's recipe).



There was time for setting a proper table, time for board games and time for just simple family fun.


But equally as fun was the time for new distractions and adult fun in the sand at Winchester Bay, Florence and the South Jetty.

We even made it up to Portland for time with my oldest sister and her family and friends.
I needed this weekend of distractions to remind me of what it is like to feel, to remind me of how to play. I needed this weekend of distractions to get me away from the 'all work and no play' life that I have been living for too long.

But it is a new week and now I have to let go of the distractions of this past weekend, keep my mind from drifting back to all the fun we had and try to focus on work!

At least until next weekend.

NCYC 2007

National Catholic Youth Conference:
20,000 young people celebrating their faith.

Columbus Ohio is where I found myself about ten days ago. It remains on my mind still.
Attending NCYC as just a chaperone this year rather than a full time youth minister is something I am still processing and learning to adapt to.

I felt a bit awkward and I was uncertain of my role. I enjoyed seeing a number of old friends but there wasn't enough time to catch up as they were busy with their responsibilities. However, my chaperone role of only one youth (my son) did give me personal time that I wouldn't have had otherwise.


If you have never been to a National Catholic Youth Conference, I am fairly certain it would not look at all like one might expect. It looks unlike any other religious event. Some might even say it just looks like a party!

But I know different.
I have seen first hand how the experience can impact a young person's faith formation.

Young people make living life holy.
They find holiness in the most ordinary things.

I find this way of living contagious. When I am around youth I find God in the most wonderful of ways. I see God in their eyes, in their passion, in their energy, in their faith. That is what I love about young people. Finding God in new ways.

Over the years of leading groups of youth to NCYC, YNIA and other such faith experiences I have watched them be surrounded by peers who share the same faith and I have watched them be empowered to share with friends and family when they get back home. Its as if they find safety and confidence in numbers.



Being able to join my son as he experienced his first NCYC was one of the best gifts a parent can receive. Watching him grow in his faith and come home feeling more confident and comfortable with who he is as a young Catholic is a treasure I will hold in my heart.

Time...

Time seems to pass by so quickly.
At times I find myself wondering where time went.
Where has the Time gone?

We talk about time as if it was something tangible.

But time isn't tangible at all.
I can't feel time.
I can't touch time.
I can't see or smell or hear time.

But I can tell you that time has gone by in the blink of an eye.

I am sure there or poets or songwriters that can put this in words far better than I can.
But here is my inadequate attempt.

On the evening of my 47th birthday I find myself wondering when I came to be so old.

My earliest memory was when I had just turned 3 years old.


President Kennedy had been shot in Dallas.
It was the day of JFK's funeral and all businesses had closed for the day, even the refinery where my dad worked.
(I wonder if Bush was assasinated, would all businesses close for the day? Wait... that is another blog.)
My father was lying on the floor in front of the TV. He was lying on his right side with his head propped up on his elbow and I was sitting crossed legged in front of him leaning back using his stomach as my backrest.

He suddenly, a bit forcefully, and with the emphasis & the passion of most every Catholic in 1963, tapped me with his left hand on my left shoulder saying,
"Pay attention to this!
Some day your kids will ask you if you remember this day."

I remember thinking at the time.... "Some day I will have kids?"

That is my earliest memory.

So occasionally in the month of November, people ask if I remember what I was doing when Kennedy was shot.
I say, "no."
But I remember the funeral. I remember how my dad was home and not at work. I remember exactly where I was sitting, and the look of the room. I remember my mom sitting on the couch behind us, and my older sister Chris was there too. I don't have recollection of my younger brother Jeff.

Now 40 some odd years later and I find myself wondering how I came to be so old.

Where has the time gone?
How much time do I have left?

One of Jeff's favorite lines from M.A.S.H. is
"No one is promised tomorrow."

So I am working on living more in the present.
Not longing for what was.
Not looking for what will be.
But living and being with those who are with me now.

So Happy Birthday to me.
And Blessings to all of you who called, remembered, and helped me celebrate today in words, thought, wishes and prayers.
Love,
J

I like Fall....

It's Fall here in the Pacific Northwest.
I have now lived through all the seasons and am beginning the second round.
I like Fall out west.




The colors are vibrant.
The air is fragrant.
The flavors are robust and full.
And that experience can be found in any beer isle at the grocery store!




The changing of seasons is something I always enjoy.

It is especially fun to find someone has paid tribute to you in the form of a Micro-Brew!

Life doesn't get much better than this!

"... in the end is harvest."

Love is not changed by death and nothing is lost, and all in the end is harvest' - Julian of Norwich

I saw this quote today leafing through what I, as a Catholic, would call the mistlette sitting in a pew at the Temple Beth Shalom.

I was attending the funeral service of a colleague of my husbands. I didn't know Steve much at all. I met him on only a handful of occasions in the 2 short years that I have had a connection with Salem Oregon.
Yet somehow I knew I needed to be at this service to say good bye.

Odd thing is this is also the 1 year anniversary of Elizabeth Stratton's death.

Unlike Steve, I did know Lizzie.
I experienced firsthand the impact and influence she had on so many people during her short life, including my own life. I sat listening to Steve's family and friends speak of him realizing he, too, had great impact and influence on many lives.

Two very different people.
One female, one male
One young, one older.
One Catholic, one Jewish.
One single, young, woman, the other, married, family man.

Two different people, yet so similar in the feelings left behind shared by loved ones who are struggling with the loss.

I can't help but think of what I read...

Love is not changed by death and nothing is lost, and all in the end is harvest'

I wonder what Lizzie's parents would say about this quote a year later, or what Kathy would say about this so soon after losing her husband.

But never the less it is stuck in my mind as I wonder what I myself would share about this quote.

I think back to loved ones I have lost and am thankful it is a short list; Grandparents, George, aunt Betty, friends of my children... I have been blessed to have not experienced the loss of a child, spouse, or parent. At lease not yet.

But of this I am certain of...
The one thing we all have in common in this life and on this earth is death.

Attending the funeral of another, hearing the sentiments shared, makes me wonder how I would handle the death of a loved one in my immediate family. It also makes me wonder what others will say of me when I am gone.

Will there be anyone there to attend my funeral?
Will anyone say anything nice about how I lived my life?
More importantly will any of my children have a kind word for me?

I don't think of myself as a morbid person.
It isn't that I dwell on death, funerals, or the like.
But I see days like this as opportunites for me to reevaluate my priorities.
It gives me a chance to ask myself if I am living each day as if it were my last. It makes me think about what is most important. Am I making a difference in the world?
Or at least...
Am I making a difference in my small part of the world.

All I can say is, "I am trying."

And I hope in the end, there is a harvest of love and grace for those I leave behind

Burley to Omaha

This time last week I was leaving Burley Idaho.
There isn’t much to see in Burley except for a beautiful sunrise.
This morning I find myself in Omaha Nebraska.
There isn’t much to see here either except for another beautiful sunrise.
However between Burley last Tuesday
and Omaha this Tuesday there has been much to see.


I saw my grandson take some of his first steps,
My oldest daughter playfully parent her first child,
My son-in-law adjust to his crazy in-laws.

I marveled at how our oldest three children have come together to enjoy each other’s company.When they were teens I could only pray that someday they would be able to sit at a Holiday meal and be tolerant of one another. But as adults they have become more than family, they are also friends.


I was able to reconnect with old friends, celebrate a birthday, and visit with former co-workers. There was time for worship and communion in a place we feel comfortable and at home.

And there was time for good brews and many ‘cheers’.

In 8 hours or so I’ll be back in Salem.

There is much to see there; mountains, oceans, streams, and valleys.
But I most look forward to seeing the kids we’ve left behind the past week.
I am certain there is homework undone, laundry to do, groceries to purchase, and probably most importantly costumes to plan and create.
Halloween is just around the corner.

All things considered in between Burley and Omaha
It was a great Fall Break.

Beverly Beach

It was a beautiful weekend at the coast.
Beach combing,
Whale watching,
Award winning Micro-breweries,
Good food,
Great conversation,
Catching up with family.

It is hard to top a weekend like that.

But next week I will.

In fact, I will top this weekend hands down!

I am heading to Nebraska for
Wide open sunsets,
Award winning Micro-breweries,
Good Food,
Great conversation,
Catching up with family,
Our Adult kids & grandson!

Life doesn't get much better.

Seasons

Change,
Transition,
Passing over,
Conversion.

The past two years I seem to always be living in a state of change, a time of transition, a passing over into a new place, even conversion.

I think I am getting used to it.

But it doesn't make it any easier to adjust.

The latest change and transition is watching Gretchen leave for Thailand. Just saying Thailand makes it seem so far away. It feels like such a long ways from anywhere I have ever known.

Today was Gretchen's last day. I wasn't at work today so our good-byes were said yesterday. That wasn't easy either.

I only met Gretchen last February when she began her Americorps VISTA term with the same Habitat affiliate where I am serving.

And now she is gone.

I haven't had many friends since moving here. It's beginning to feel as though as soon as I get to know someone they move on to new places.

Yet, I feel excitement for Gretchen. She is off to a new adventure, an entirely different place with wonderful experiences ahead of her. I wish her only the best on her life journey and I hope our paths cross again someday.

I will miss her greatly.

Here's to you Gretchen!

Jared and the 1074th are back!

Jared Pettit and the 1074th from Nebraska are back from Iraq!


I thank God that Jared and Adam made it back to U.S. soil and am anxious for them to make it home to their families in Nebraska.

It has been too long!
Sadly not all the young men who left with the 1074th are coming home. And some are coming home with injuries.

The kids and I continue to pray for the safe keeping and return of all our service people fighting overseas.

Road Trip!

There is nothing quite like a great road trip.




You know....

the kind of trip where you throw just the necessities in the car and hit the open road with a good friend.


The kind of trip when the sun is shining, the top is down on the convertable, you have some good tunes on the stereo, some snacks in the back seat, and you just take off to someplace new.

That is what I got to do last week when Matt came to visit.

He had dreamt of visiting Crater Lake since he was 9 or 10.

He could recall the first time he heard of Crater Lake.
He remembered his teacher's name.
He remembered the slide show she presented to his 4th grade class.
He had always dreamt of the day he, too, would see Crater Lake and take his own pictures.

I had always dreamt of seeing Crater Lake as well, but for different reasons. I had only see pictures on calendars. And I heard my grandparents talk about Crater Lake because Uncle Lynn and Aunt Vi lived in Oregon and they had seen it on a visit to them and the Pacific Northwest.

So we set out last Tuesday morning. Actually it was more mid morning. I didn't want to rush Matt since he was on vacation.
I worried about the time and whether we would reach Crater Lake National Park before it closed, but decided to just let go of the time issue. (Not an easy thing for a mom to do who normally has to keep a large family on task.)

We traveled south on I-5 just catching up on our lives and enjoying the sunshine.
When we turned onto hwy 138, that is when the real adventure began.

Traveling along the North Umpqua River in Oregon is a beautiful site all its own.


We both wanted to stop and pull off at a number places to take a picture, to hike up to the water falls, or to just enjoy the view.
We lost all cell phone reception and that challenged me to let go of all the work and family needs left behind.
But the beauty around made it easier to just get absorbed into our surroundings.

We continued on up the road until we found the location of our cabin for the night. It became clear as evening drew near that we wouldn't see Crater Lake our first day out as planned. However, we were content exploring the surroundings, exploring more conversation and enjoying the snacks and beverages we packed for the trip.

Steamboat Inn was a great place to stay; beautiful surroundings and only a short 75 minute drive to Crater Lake.
(http://www.thesteamboatinn.com)
As we approached the Rim Drive on Wednesday we talked about our curiosity and wondered if the Lake would live up to all the 'hype' and our own expectations.

It did!

Matt was in Awe. And so was I.



We drove the 30+ miles around the rim stopping at all the pull outs and taking more pictures.
It was more than either of us could have imagined. It exceded our expectations!

We knew after waiting this long to finally arrive here at Crater Lake, that we could not leave without the whole Crater Lake experience. That meant we had to put our feet in the water.

This also meant a mile long steep hike down to the water's edge.



It was clear. It was cold! It was perfect.




And then we had to hike out!

We stopped all along the way up the steep, switchback trail to take pictures. And to catch out breath.






After we made it to the top we celebrated with a picnic lunch and Crater Lake Vodka.



The drive home was the perfect ending as the moon followed us back up I-5.



Whether you have a life long dream of visiting Crater Lake or not...
I hope all of you can visit us someday.

Where to begin

I haven't a clue where to begin.
It's been nearly 4 weeks since I have posted a blog.
So much has happened.
There is so much to reflect on and even more that I want to share.

But for now it will have to be short and sweet.

Sunday night... 10:45pm.
The house is the cleanest it has been in months in anticipation of Matt's arrival tomorrow.

It is fairly quiet now. Everyone has gone to bed except for me. I can hear the quiet hum of the dishwasher in the kitchen.

It is rare that our house is quiet. It is a nice change, but somehow odd and perhaps even abnormal.
Abnormal for us.

For those two of you (maybe three) that actually read this... Thanks.
Thanks for being patient waiting for me to blog.
Thanks for understanding I don't get the time to write as often as my heart desires.
And Thanks for listening, accepting, and loving me.

Good Night.

The Big 16!

Ten years ago Melissa, my oldest, was quickly approaching her 16 birthday.
I found myself watching my little girl grow into a young lady all too quickly.
I knew my time with her as a resident in the same house with us was limited.
I wanted more time with her. I needed more time with her.
There was a big world out there and I believed there was still so much to guide her through before she ventured out to explore her own life outside of the security of our family.

Ten years ago we lived in a small town. (Kearney is small town to me, anyway.)
I wanted my children to experience the world that you can't find in a small town. I wanted them to know how to get through airport security, transfer from plane to plane without getting lost; what it is like to get around in a new place; how to get from airport, to hotel, to museum, whether it be by plane, train or bus. And I wanted them to do this safely.

Ten years ago on an ordinary morning while taking my morning shower I had simple idea, a simple vision that has turned out to be an absolutely extraordinarily brilliant idea.

For Melissa's birthday I would take her to a big city. Surprise her with a trip where she could site see and explore all she wanted to see. She had all the tour books, maps and guidance, but it was up to her to plan the activities and figure out what, how, where, and when.
And this would give us the much needed one on one time together.

We had a wonderful time in San Francisco!

We have continued this tradition with all the kids as they have reached 16.

Jeff and Brad in Washington DC,
Jeff and Aimee in San Francisco,
me and Lindsey in San Francisco,
And now...
me and Alex in Chicago!

Each one of the kids have embraced this one-on-one time with mom or dad. At 15 or so they begin asking where we are taking them, trying to lobby for Hawaii or Disney World. (We don't let them choose the city.)

So here I am at the end of my first day with Alex in Chicago.
We left Salem at 4:45am.
Non-stop flight from Portland to Chicago.
Orange Train from MidWay airport.
Transfer to Red Line Train.
Exit at Grand.
Our Hotel is right here.
Just a few blocks away from the Hard Rock Cafe,
Pizzaria Uno
and
Gino's East.

The Cubbies won tonight against the Brewers.
Our seats were AMAZING!



Alex has crashed!. I think I wore him out.

I am excited for tomorrow and to find out where he is going to lead me!

Ten years ago...
Thank you God for ordinary days, and quiet thoughts that turn out to be such blessings!

27 years...

August 22nd was my 27th wedding anniversary.


We've spent the last 5 days in celebration and on vacation with a dear friend.



I imagine some might think it odd to have another person along on your anniversary, but we have enjoyed it.
I guess the biggest reason why we have embraced having another person along is that since moving out to Oregon Jeff and I only have each other. We don't have other friends to go out with. We spend all of our time together. Having a friend come visit and help us celebrate has been wonderful!





We arranged to take Charlie flying. He is a former pilot and we thought this would be a fun surprise for him. And...Since we have a good friend who runs a flight school, we were able to pull some strings.



We went flying. We went cruising on the Puget sound. We had a plethora of delicious food and drink. But most of all we had great conversations with dear friends and family.



I hate to see it come to an end.

Anyone else ready for a visit to the Great Northwest?

The Guest room is ready!

My Calendar

I have so wanted time to write, time to reflect, but I just haven't been able to make it work. Life is so busy.

When life gets busy like this I am reminded of the story told by Jerry back in Kearney.
Jerry was complaining of how busy he was, no time to get his work done, no time for family, no time to volunteer, no time for golf.
Jerry's friend listened carefully and then asked to see his calendar. Jerry shared it somewhat proudly as if it were a prize or a testament to his complaints.

His friend went over each of the entries and then agreed, saying, "You are a very busy person. And I also notice that it is all your own handwriting."

Jerry told me from that time on he quit complaining about his schedule. He made more careful decisions about what he added to his calendar and what he didn't add.

When I get too busy to write, to blog, to clean my house, to spend time with the kids. I can't help but be reminded of the fact no one is adding things to my calendar but me.

I am in control of my schedule, my calendar and my life.
So I have to quit complaining and do something about it.

So while this isn't at all what I intended to blog about today, this is what came out when I began to type.

What I intended to blog about was Birthday Celebrations!
Within the past 10 days we've celebrated two 'milestone' birthdays.

Alex's 16th

and Laura's 10th.




Hard to believe!


Happy Birthday kids!

I-5: A haven for interesting sites!

I have heard of driving a Lemon, but this is the first I've ever seen of one on the highways of America.



On our trip home from Seattle
(A topic deserving of it's own blog)
we spotted some odd yellow object traveling down the road ahead.
I had to speed up to figure out what the oddity was.



Oh, Its only fresh Squeezed Lemonade!

Interesting past few days...

It has been an interesting past 4 or 5 days.

My husband gets nervous when I say something is "interesting". Especially when I am referring to something I have cooked. And I suppose he is right to be nervous about my cooking if I am describing it as "interesting".

I could use more accurate and descriptive words, but when all the past week's events are compiled together, I think "interesting" fits.

For the first time in 27 years of marriage, we have an actual bed!
Not a makeshift, homemade headboard I nailed together in the garage.
And not a makeshift fabric draping that gives the illusion of a headboard, but an actual bed!
I like it!
I am happy to have it after all these years.
I thought about matching furniture to make up the full bedroom set, but just couldn't see spending that much more on furniture just because it matched. I will admit to being 'cheap'.


We had a chance to go to the Oregon Brewers Dinner on the waterfront in Portland with a 750 other "SNOBS" (Supporters of Native Oregon Beers). Thirst quenching Beer, Delicious Food, relaxing music and just the two of us. It was a perfect evening!


But perhaps most "interesting" was Saturday and Sunday spent in Portland with family and friends. We enjoyed the company of my sister Chris, and my brother-in-law Dan, along with Dan's parents Irv and Mary Ellen from Texas.
Now that in and of itself may not be that "interesting" until you know the rest of the story.
Many years ago I was engaged to Dave (Dan's brother) who is Irv and Mary Ellen's youngest son.
I know a lot of time has passed, but I wasn't quite sure what to expect when we all got together.
But it was more than "interesting".
It was even fun!

And on the way to Portland we say a Pacer on I-5!
Imagine that! A Pacer. Still Running!
The kids thought it was one of the funniest looking cars they had ever seen!
We used to call them, Portable Windshields.



I can't wait to see what comes my way this week!

So Many thoughts. No Words.

I've been wanting to blog for a while now. It feels as though I have so much to say.
But unfortunately the words aren't coming.

I thought about blogging last week around Jeff's birthday. He turned 46 and caught up to me, at least for a few months..

I've also wanted to just share/vent about the struggles at work, but 'where to begin' has prevented that too.

I came close to pulling out the keyboard the night I really needed someone to just listen instead of criticize, but I was too angry and ended up just cleaning house. I've done a lot of cleaning since that night.

There was the day I got the call from Rob saying he was no longer working at St. Ed's which meant there was now a job opening for a youth ministry coordinator. I wanted to blog about that and all the options and possibilities that opens.

But again.... The words weren't coming and I didn't know where to begin.

I guess this is what some would call writer's block.

I think what would really help would be time to just reflect and contemplate; some uninterrupted time. I am in need of time on the beach away from all the demands and all the people pulling at me for one thing or another.

It used to be I went to work to escape all the people pulling at me for help, support, or just desparate attention.

But somehow in just 7 short months at my job I have come to be the one people come to for help, support, guidance and sometimes even 'desparate' attention.

I thoroughly enjoy some aspects of the work I do.
And
I thoroughly wish I could run away from of other aspects of the work I do. I guess I just haven't struck a balance yet.

But I am trying.

Mid year already?

July 14, 2007
I always think of today as the middle of the year.
I've never actually counted the days to see if it was the middle, but that is how it feels to me.

So here I am in the middle of 2007. Half the year is behind me. And the remaining half ahead of me.
I can't help but think about my 2007 expectations, goals and resolutions; met and unmet.
I think about all the things I wanted to do, hoped to do and even sometimes planned to do.

But in looking back I am not disappointed. Perhaps there were a few missed opportunities to spend more time with family and friends, but I don't have strong regrets.
Mostly I am left feeling thankful.
I am thankful that Jim is recovering from a broken neck instead of being paralyzed or worse.
I am thankful that Sonny is recovering from a mild heart attack and has heard the wake up call.
I am thankful that Cherie is finished with Chemo and doing well and still with us.




And I am thankful for a new, happy, healthy, grandson even if he lives too far away.


I feel incredibly grateful that we were able to gather with all our children and grandson last weekend. There was the usual amount of laughter, games, great conversation, noise and frustration. At times, I longed for just 5 minutes of quiet, but I would not have had it any other way!

For a short 24 hours we were all in the same house, and our house felt more like home.

Many people will remember 07-07-07 as a special day because of the date itself and the 'perfection' of number 7 alining.

I will remember it as a perfect sun filled Saturday morning when we all gathered in the front yard for a family photo.



But I am not one to look back for very long. I am now looking ahead to the rest of the year. I wonder about my expectations, my goals, my resolutions and can't help but feel hopeful and filled with anticipation for what might be.

All together!

Today I spent nearly 5 hours in the car. What usually would have been a 2 hour drive to and from the Portland airport took 5 hours. But it was well worth it to pick up Brad and get him to Salem, (in spite of the terrible Friday 5:00pm traffic) to finally have all my kids together.
I don't remember the last time.
Maybe it was 15 months ago.
I have pictures to share later.

Happy 4th of July!

Wishing all of you (all 6 of you that read my blog) a Happy 4th of July!


I talked to Jim today. He is recuperating in Grand Island and has many family members around to support and care for him.


We are excited as we head to the Portland airport tomorrow morning to pick up our oldest daughter, Melissa, her husband Justin and our 7 month old grandson, Cale!
This is their first visit to Oregon.
Friday, Brad is flying in to surprise his sister.
This will be the first time we have all been together in over a year, and the first time since Cale was born!

As Grandma, I am hoping for a BIG photo opt!

Grandma...
I am still getting used to that name for myself.

More later...

AKA ... DWNTWN