Sunday, May 08, 2011

Worry...!

Worry is like a rocking chair.
It gives you something to do,
but it doesn't get you anywhere.

Compliments of my son Brad on Mother's Day!

I might blog more about this some day...

Monday, February 14, 2011

Looking for Work

I have been looking for work,
Yet it continues to elude me.

I don't mean household work.
There is plenty of that kind of work surrounding me.
And regardless of how much of that kind of work I accomplish,
it seems to always be there.

I am just looking for work, 
a job, 
some place that will pay me for completing tasks efficiently and on time.  

2 years and 6 months ago I blogged about my career/job/work 


At that time the unemployment rate was quite low and finding a job for most teenagers was as easy as applying at the nearest fast food restaurant or gas station. 
A lot has changed in the past 30 months.

A lot has changed in just half that time.

Its been 15 months since I left my last job.  
There are times I miss the work I did at Habitat for Humanity. 
I miss the ministry aspect of that job.
I miss the committees, 
the Habitat families, 
and I miss the construction work.

I don't miss the interoffice politics and struggles.
I left at the right time, 
for the right reasons.
And I have no regrets.

But its time to start looking for something.
My challenge is I am not alone in my search for a job.
I join my son, 2 daughters, a son-in-law, a former co-worker,
and thousands of fellow Oregonians.

Finding employment is vastly different now, 
than it was in August of 2008.
Oregon has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country.
In many cases adults are competing for the same minimum wage jobs as the teenagers. 

I have written and re-written my resume countless times.
I have submitted more online applications than I can remember,
and waited patiently to hear back from anyone.
All I hear is the chirping of crickets.

I am keeping myself busy with writing for a blogging service,
but that work doesn't come frequently enough to keep me out of trouble.

My photography and writing fill some of my time, but that doesn't put food on the table.

I thought about going back to school to complete my degree.  
But I have kids in college.  
It doesn't make sense to add more expense to the already unaffordable college bill.

This sounds like a lot of whining and complaining.
That is not my intent.  
I am mostly puzzled.  

I don't know what else to try.  

I have the strong skill set that would fit well in any most any work environment.    
I am competent with both PC and Mac computers.  
I am detail oriented, focused, and organized.   
Being able to multi-task is ingrained in me.  
 I also have the skills to evaluate and analyze various topics and situations and communicate effectively with others.  I am a very quick study and don't shy away from difficult tasks.
 I am committed, responsible, and time oriented.  
 I have always been intuitive, insightful, and good with people.  Communicating well with others has been an integral aspect of the various jobs I have held over the years.  It comes naturally to me.  
 I think these skills would make me a great employee ... anywhere!
But I don't have a degree.  I don't have that piece of paper that says I paid thousands of dollars to an institute of higher learning.  I don't have the magic key that gets your foot in the door in a skinny job market that is fat with job seekers.
So I will continue to put my vast job skills to use here at home, budgeting, establishing menus, streamlining food costs, mediating teenager disagreements, networking satellite siblings, communication specialist, scheduling queen, fulfilling janitorial duties, lawn and landscape care, packing/moving/transfer/storage guru, minor auto repair mechanic; including auto detailing, inventory & ordering supplies, and any other duties as assigned...Until a paying job comes along.







Friday, January 28, 2011

Last Fridays

It's seems the last Fridays of a month sneak up on me like a friend playing a prank.
It's startling, but not scary.

Where did January 2011 go?

It seems like this new year just started and 1/12 of it is nearly gone.

I tend not to make New Years resolutions so I don't have anything to feel bad about in terms of missing a goal, falling short, or failing myself.

However, I did commit to staying focused on my photography and writing.
I am fairly content with my progress, but I did think I would be farther along than I am.

My first 'picture' book is nearly finished and I am anxious to start the second one.
But before that I am heading to my Tai Chi class, then I need to clean my house and get things back in order around here.

You can read a bit about my book on my other blog at

http://steppinoutwithdwntwn.blogspot.com/2011/01/mushrooms-look-through-kansas-girls.html

Happy TGIF and have a great weekend!



- Posted by DWNTWN

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sometimes the Sadness just comes

Today is one of those days that the sadness just comes.
I can be going along having a perfectly fine day
and then a thought crosses my mind,
or I see an old photograph,
or I catch myself using a phrase my dad used to say,
and I think of him.
And the sadness just comes.

I wish I had better control over it.
But I don't.

I imagine it is a million times worse for my mom.

And so it goes....

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

2011 changes

I am working on some changes for the 2011 year ahead.
I am trying to be more organized, focused, and productive.
I want to make a bit of time everyday for photography and writing.

I have several people who are encouraging me to publish...something.
I don't know how to start,
where to start, or what the hell I am doing.
There is a huge learning curve for me at this time.

In my attempt to learn and be "more organized, focused, and productive"
I am attempting to link blogs, websites and such with Facebook.

I plan to keep this blog site for me.
I imagine I will need the space to share frustrations and joys that I don't want public.

Only a handful of old friends have this blog address and my guess is most of you don't check in much at all any more.

But in the off chance you do I wanted to share the links to my new site.

My new Blog:
http://steppinoutwithdwntwn.blogspot.com/
My new website
http://dwntwnimages.me

Happy New Year!

Sunday, January 02, 2011

Look Forward

We all look forward to some time, some thing, or some trip.
I look forward to many things throughout the year.
Recently I recall looking forward to: payday,
A daytrip to the coast,
My adult kids visiting,
A long hot shower,
Camping in the mountains,
Clean sheets on my bed,
A trip back to Kansas,
Christmas break,
And a Home cooked meals at my sisters to name a few.

I'll be honest,
In the last 3 decades I don't recall looking forward to a particular YEAR...such as I can't wait for
1984, 1997, or 2012.
I haven't thought to myself,
I can't wait until 2017.
Do you think like that or is it just me?

Recently I heard my daughter say,
"I can't wait for 2011! I thought it would never come."
I looked at her quizzically and she looked at me with certainty. Until the light went on for me.
Oh!
She is a high school senior this year. Now it makes sense!
The day she entered kindergarten she learned about counting down the years and looking forward.
Since 1998 she has looked forward to the year 2011.
Since 1998 she has looked forward to THIS year!

I never really gave it much thought.
I suppose I gave some consideration and looked forward to the year 1999.
Partly due to the whole Y2K hype. (Remember Y2K?)
And partly due to 1999 being the graduation year of my oldest daughter.
I love my eight children.
Not just love them,
but I REALLY love them.
Admittedly though, I am not the best mom in the world.
Having 8 children lends itself to lessened enthusiasm at times.
I have had 5 children go through their senior year.
I wish I felt as enthusiastic with number 6.
I wish my feeling of excitement was as intense now with #6 as with my oldest.
I suppose the trade off is a bit more wisdom.
I may not be as excited, but I also am not as fearful.

What I can say is...
I am now more aware.
I am now looking forward to 2011 as much as my daughter.
And I will now share in her enthusiasm for the year to come and all that brings to a young woman in her senior year of high school.

What are you looking forward to?



Friday, December 31, 2010

Save some time to Dream

I stayed up and watched Letterman tonight. I wanted to see and hear the latest from John Mellencamp.
Sonny might make fun of me for admitting this, but I have been a fan of him since I was in high school & he was known as Johnny Cougar.
Admittedly, I haven't listened to John in years, not since I became acquainted with Pandora.
But none the less I wanted to stay up late.
I was not disappointed!
Mellencamp's new song, Save some time to dream had incredibly touching lyrics and in many ways spoke to me and my experiences this past year.
Perhaps they will speak to you too.





Save some time to dream
Save some time for yourself
Don’t let your time slip away
Or be stolen by somebody else

Save some time for those you love
For they’ll remember what you gave
Save some time for the songs you sing
And the music that you’ve made

Could it be that this is all there is?
Could it be there’s nothing more at all?
Save some time to dream
‘Cause your dream could save us all

Save some time for sorrow
Cause it will surely come your way
Prepare yourself for failure
It will give you strength some day

Try to keep your mind open
And accept your mistakes
Save some time for living
And always question your faith

Could it be that this is all there is?
Could it be there’s nothing more at all?
Save some time to dream
‘Cause your dream might save us all

Cast your eyes up to heaven
Oh what does that mean to you
Try not to be too judgmental
So others will not judge you

Save some time to think
Oh before you speak your mind
Many will not understand
And to them you must to be kind

Could it be that this is all there is?
Could it be there’s nothing more at all?
Save some time to dream
‘Cause your dream might save us all

Oh yeah

Your dream might save us all




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Coho Ave NW,Salem,United States

Monday, December 27, 2010

27 years ago...

Today is my son's birthday.
He is 27!
last year at this time I would not have guessed that he would be living on the west coast and within a few hours drive of us, but he does.
I don't have many pictures of him.
He is like me in that regard and prefers to remain behind the camera and not in front of it.

But a little over 6 months ago I was able to capture a picture of us together.

So this one is just for me.

Happy 27th son!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas

Christmas in our house traditionally begins with a big breakfast.
We do this 'big breakfast' only a couple times a year, generally Christmas & Easter.

This year consisted of:
3 lbs Bacon
3 lbs Link Sausage
1*1/2 bags of Ore Ida Hash Browns
18 Eggs / scrambled
16 large extra fluffy Bisquits
2 cups Gravy
And this year I added Mimosas.

Ok, just I had mimosas!

We've finished breakfast, cleaned up, and opened gifts.

The new Apple Airport (wireless Internet) has been installed and everyone in the house is either on their iphones, laptops, or iPads.
Including me!
But we are staying connected to loved ones both near and far!

Peace, Love &
Merry Christmas to all.





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Ladies Day

Today is Ladies Day at the Blue Elephant Car wash.

It didn't exactly feel like Ladies Day other than the $2 discount and the piece of chocolate I received at the carwash today.
I left the house early this morning in an attempt to do a little Christmas shopping.
When I say a little, I mean a little.
I set aside about $250 for gifts.
I imagine for some people $250.00 would be a considerable amount of money.
But with that $250 I am trying to buy gifts for 34 people.
That works out to be about $7.35 per person.

But in spite of the lack of money,
my tardiness in beginning this process,
the fact that I don't like shopping much at all,
I had a decent day!

I went home mid afternoon to find my lazy ass teenagers had done NOTHING!
I had asked them to clean the dirty dishes and pick up the house.
(After all I had it cleaned top to bottom only 4 short days ago.)

I then promptly left.
I have enjoyed my late afternoon at Boons, my half a tuna salad sandwich, my beer,
and am listening to the Rolling Stones overhead sing,
"I'm just waiting on a friend.
I just need someone I can cry to,
I need someone to protect,
Oooh Makin' love and breakin' hearts..."

You get the idea.

I have paid my bill and need to finish up the errands so I can get back home to the mess of whatever isn't yet done like; making dinner, laundry, wrapping gifts, and pouring a couple more batches of hard candy suckers into the molds.

Tomorrow,
I am happy to say I am heading to the coast, Pelican Pub & Brewery and an evening of tasting wonderful Winter Ales where I won't care what is done or left undone at home.

I can care about home on Thursday.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Getting in the Christmas Spirit

In my effort to get in the Christmas spirit I continued work on decorating the house and this evening finished up the "plush superheroes" for my grandsons.

This past Halloween Cale & Zack dressed as Batman & Spiderman.
Naturally I wanted to make them their own cuddly superheroes.

I'd searched all over for a pattern to use, but found nothing even close to what I had in mind.
I eventually settled on an old fashioned Raggedy Ann pattern that required a LOT of alterations.

The Superheroes took on a life of their own and ended up NOT looking anything like I set out to create.
But that's okay.
Sometimes life takes me places I don't expect to go.

My grandsons are
ornery and energetic.
They are constantly running
jumping, climbing, screaming,
wrestling, & tackling their way through the day.

But when things settle down (and on rare occasions of quiet) they are peaceful, loving, cuddly, and will snuggle up on my lap.

I wanted them to have superhero dolls that represent them.

I think I have achieved that.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Location:Coho Ave NW,Salem,United States

I need more olives!

A jumbled mess of my thoughts this morning...

I have been neglecting my blog the past 2 weeks.
That usually means I have been neglecting me.
Writing or blogging are usually signs that I am making time to pause, reflect, process, and share.
I haven't posted a blog and my journal remains untouched since my dad passed away.


Part of my absence is also due to my inability to pause or process right now.
Part of my absence is also due to not knowing where to begin.
So much has happened since dad's death.

We got home from KS a week ago.
Since then, I have simply been going thru the motions and trying to get things done.
I've managed to stay on top of the cleaning & laundry, menu making, grocery buying and cooking.

I have attended the girls concerts, mock trial, a Habitat for Humanity home dedication, a Blazer game, and I hung Christmas lights on the house.


With the Holidays close at hand there is still much preparing left to do in my Advent.

* I need to be starting my day, getting ready for Mass, and tackling my list of 'to-do's but I'm not even out of bed yet.

* It's been a crazy, busy, traveling, family/friend filled past 12 months.

* I have been blessed in so many ways.

* I am reminded of a prayer I was introduced to almost a decade ago...





* I need more olives!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Location:Westfarthing Way NW,Salem,United States

Saturday, December 04, 2010

God Speed dad!

Scarcely more than 24 hours ago I finished a blog while settling down for a night in the hospital with my dad.
It wasn't more than 10 minutes after finishing the blog that dad passed away.
Now,
tonight,
after only a 90 minute nap early this morning,
I have laid my head down.
Today was filled with so much blessing!
I can't begin the describe it all right now.
It was a very full day and tomorrow will be even more so.
For now, I need to rest.

Love to all of you!


Dad, I miss you already!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Briggs St,Wichita,United States

Friday, December 03, 2010

Where do I begin?

I don't know where to begin.
This morning began with a great sunrise in Oregon.



I got my 1st ever picture with Santa at PDX.



I saw some of the best "Kick my own ass pants" waiting to board the plane



An equally odd shuttle van at MCI.



And a sunset equally as gorgeous as today's sunrise.




And now I am back in Wichita.
I am right back at Via Christi regional Medical Center.
I am once again spending the night in the hospital with my dad.
Last time I was here they were searching for answers.
This time we have answers and dad's prognosis is bad.
The doctors say he may only have a day or so.
His body is giving out.
How can this be?
He only came here a few short months ago for a knee replacement.
He wanted to be in good shape to take mom to the Holy Land next year.
And now he is dying?
How does this happen?
This wasn't part of the plan!
But I suppose deep down I have always known that it isn't MY plan...ever!
I go from, disbelief, to grief, to determination, to acceptance, to blessing, to resignation, to confusion, to laughter...
bouncing around the emotional room like a high powered superball.
My dad isn't supposed to be dying!
But he is.
We are all gathering.
One more sibling is yet to arrive.
We hope to find the best way to Celebrate dad & his life.
And then we will have to learn how to continue to be family without his amazing presence!
It will not be an easy task!

Location:St Francis N,Wichita,United States

Saturday, November 27, 2010

ThanksGiving

I learned a lot about Thanksgiving growing up in a large family.
Mom & Dad taught me and my siblings to recognize our blessings and to be thankful for what we had.
I remember conversations over the years as we grew up where I, or one of my younger siblings, would ask mom or dad, "Are we rich?"
Without hesitation the response was always, "yes!"

Who ever posed the initial question would then follow up with naming the possession we didn't have,
the toy so and so down the street had,
how big their friend's house was,
or how many televisions the neighbors had.
Mom & Dad would explain that those are just things, just possessions.
What makes a person rich is love and our family has a lot of love.
They would go on to say what makes a person rich is how much they are willing to give,
not always thinking about what they can get.

As young kids we didn't always like this answer.
I am sure somewhere in the back of our minds we were wondering how love would be able to get us that coveted toy under the Christmas tree.

But as we grew older, we learned it isn't about ThanksPossessions,
and its not ThanksTaking.
No one ever called it
ThanksHealthy,
ThanksFriendship,
or ThanksFamily
yet all those things are blessings I am very thankful for.

I also have never heard anyone call it
ThanksTurkey
even though I am extra thankful my turkey turned out fabulous!

Its always been ThanksGiving!

I had a wonderful ThanksGiving in spite of it being rather small in comparison to our ThanksGivings of old.
We numbered 7 around the table and had enough food for twice that many.
I was a bit sad about that.
Not sad about having leftovers, but sad about missing the family that couldn't be with us.

I remembered years past when the house was brimming with family & friends.
Mom & dad would invite others to join us who had no family to celebrate with.
I thought about doing this, but I don't know anyone here in Salem to invite to join us.
That made me kind of sad too.

But what lifts me up is having fun with those that are here.
Listening to the kids laugh, tease, and play together is a lot to be thankful for.
We had a couple of Trail Blazer tickets for last nights game, but the kids all voted to stay home and just hang out together.
I like knowing that they, too, are thankful for the time they have together.

So yesterday I set out to find a way to "Be ThanksGiving".
I wanted to find someone to give the Trail Blazer tickets to.

In the past I have found city workers, or construction people to give the tickets to and I have enjoyed the excitement on their face as they think about going to their first NBA game.
Evidently the city employees had the day off because there were no work crews to be found.

I headed to a small sports bar thinking surely I could find someone there who would appreciate upper deck cheap seats for a Trail Blazer game.

As I sat at the bar enjoying a beer, I took in the small crowd of regulars.
I noticed a group of 3 young couples, but that didn't seem likely as I only had 2 tickets,
A husband and wife were there (the wife was in a wheelchair), but it didn't seem likely they would venture that far from home late at night.
There was an older gentleman who lost his wife about a month ago,
and a bar acquaintance of his who had just returned from Nebraska and Kansas.
I like the 'coincidence' of this.
I, too, had just returned from Nebraska and Kansas.
So I offered the tickets to him.
While his face lit up and the idea was enticing, he said,
"I better not.  My wife would kill me.  I have too much family at my house and I was lucky to get away for a beer."
Then he glanced around the room and said, "but I think I know someone who would love these".
He headed past me and walked up to a young man who had just sat down at the bar and ordered a beer.
The older gentleman said to the younger one,
"Hey, I'm not asking for a date or anything, but do you have plans for tonight?" and then he handed him the tickets.

I love watching the look on a persons face as it goes from confusion, to understanding, to uncertainty, and then to joy!
Yes!
I think I found a home for tickets!

As it turns out they young man recently sold a car to a Trail Blazer player, he has been doing some promotional work for the team, and his employer is a sponsor of the Trail Blazers,
yet he has never gone to a game.

He hesitantly asked me,  "how much do you want for the tickets?"
"Nothing", I said.
"Can I at least buy your drink?" he asked.
"Already paid for."  I replied.
I said, "It's ThanksGiving!"

I tipped my glass to him and thought of my mom & dad.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

ADYC Day 2

Well its been 18+ hours since I crawled off of the top bunk. I just crawled back up and am hoping for a lights out soon.
But in the meantime I thought I would quickly reflect on the days events.
It began with a beautiful sunrise


And ended with an even more gorgeous sunset.


In between there was much song, dance and prayer.
Both Caroline and Jacquie made it up on stage in front of the 600 or so young Catholics.


Caroline as she helped with opening prayer.


And Jax for a competition to spell the word Magisterium; one of the 3 pillars of the Church.

The closing prayer service was quite moving and so was my opportunity to lead some small group sharing.
I do miss youth ministry.

Just a half a day tomorrow lies ahead.
But it will be a very long half day beginning with Breakfast outside in the bitter cold.



It's supposed to be even colder than this morning.
Yikes!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, November 19, 2010

ADYC Seaside Oregon

I am on the top bunk in an old barrack at Camp Rilea near Astoria Oregon.


I am sharing space with 12 other ladies who take longer to get ready for bed than anyone else I've ever had to share space with.
I am here as a chaperone for the biennial Archdiocesan youth conference.
I am glad to be here with Jacquie and Caroline and I hope they enjoy the weekend.



I'm not quite sure how to get down off this thing in the dark without stepping on my bunkmate ( who's name I don't yet know) or worse falling!
More tomorrow!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:SE Dolphin Ave,Warrenton,United States

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Being 50

Today is my first day in my 2nd century.
I fully intend to make it to the big 100!
I've had some great birthday wishes, prayers and phone calls from wonderful friends.
I know I am blessed!
Tonight it is nearing midnight and the end of my first full day of being 50.
So far, so good.
I rented a cabin at Silver Falls through next Wednesday.
This time I am in cabin #1.
I did NOT anticipate the change in amenities ( no more small frig or microwave ) over the years I have learned to adapt and improvise. So that is what I am doing for the next few day; adapting to the environment.

Another nice change is there is now cell phone reception up here in the mountains. At least I think this is a nice change.

Sometimes I wish my phone didn't work.
I prefer to 'de-tach' from the world. But at least if the kids need to get it in touch, they can.
It's a good thing.

More later
I have to make the 3rd attempt at waking my husband and getting him to bed. ... He crashed on our small cabin couch after many hours of attempting to get a nice fire started.
But vacation means no alarm clock!
Hooray!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Silver Falls Cabin #1

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Happy Birthday to me.

Today I am 50!
Half a century old.
It's hard to believe.

Life has kept me extra busy since getting back from Kansas.

I've had no time to blog which means my head is too full of thoughts and trivia, events and emotions.

Hopefully in the next few days life will slow down a bit.
I am heading up to Silver Falls for a few days.
I am so looking forward to the solitude I find in the mountains.

But for now, I have a busy day ahead.

On a side note:
2 of my girls are off to a Jazz festival for school.
This is the first time I've seen their 'performance dress'.
Clearly they are growing up too!



Time passes so quickly!

P.S. My gift to myself.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Back in Oregon

It's been a long journey today alone...
1102 miles and nearly 17 hours of driving.
But we made it to Oregon soil!

I left nearly 2 weeks ago and have spent all but 3 of the past 13 nights on a hospital fold out chair/bed or the floor

Tonight this queen size Super 8 bed feels wonderful!


Now I am unwinding, watching Harry Met Sally and waiting for Jeff to call after the Blazer game.

For the most part the drive went well, alex got more highway experience, we saw a gorgeous sunset


Outside of a 30 minute delay in Pine Bluff Wyoming while some enormous, oversized, contraption exited the interstate our travels went well.

YouTube Video

Tomorrow our drive home should be quite manageable.
I'll get home just in time to unpack, re-pack and head to the coast for Pelican Pub's Brewers Dinner on Saturday.

Throughout my days and my nights my mind is continually drawn back to my dad. It was a very difficult, emotional goodbye.

The news from Wichita is good so far.
Dad is better.
No fever since they started steroids.
We are hoping this is the answer.
Time will tell.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Goodfellow Ln,Ontario,United States