Hosea

Today is Ash Wednesday.

Growing up, we never missed attending Mass and receiving ashes on this first day of Lent.

It wasn't until I got older and learned that Ash Wednesday is NOT a Holy Days of Obligation in the Church, and attending Mass was optional.  

Even knowing this, we still attended, at least until we moved to Oregon.

The first year we lived here, we didn't attend Mass on Ash Wednesday, nor did we receive ashes.

A little bit of the Catholic guilt set in, but not so much that I felt too bad about it.

It was last year that the kids were pushing me to go.  They said they missed going the previous year.

Since none of them could drive last year, I got up early, took them all to 7am Mass, received ashes, and then dropped them off school a little bit late with their tardy notes.

It made for a very long day.

This year I was all ready to let them go on their own since I now have a teen driver.  Besides having a teen driver, I wasn't looking forward to the 6am alarm.  In my unemployed state, I am getting used to sleeping in a bit later than 6am, or even 7am for that matter.

Add to that, I am trying to get things ready to leave town today.  I was pretty sure adding Attend Mass to my 'to-do' list would be too much.

 

But sometimes God has a different plan.  

I woke up at 6am. 

Not just woke up, but woke up and was alert and already thinking of my list.

So I got up, got dressed, threw on a hat and took the girls to Mass.

We went to St. Joseph's downtown because it was early and closer to home.  

This is the extremely traditional church in town and it was the first Mass of the day.

I was prepared for the elderly Pastor, the retired & blue-haired lady crowd, and anticipated the shortened Mass version with no music.

I was hoping for, and planning on, a quick in and out to fulfill my 'obligation' as a supportive, nuturing Catholic parent.  

Because quite honestly, I wasn't there for my self.

I haven't found much within the church here in Oregon that helps me connect to God.

To my surprise, there was an opening song announced.  

And it wasn't played on the organ.  

They used the piano instead, and the pianist was quite good. 

Another surprise...

the opening hymn wasn't an old Lenten song written in 1872.  

The song was more contemporary and one of my favorites from St. James in Kearney.

The hymn was "Hosea" by Gregory Norbert. 

It opens with...

Come back to me with all your heart,  don't let fear keep us apart.

I felt as though God was talking directly to me.

I felt more connection to God and being Catholic this morning at 7:05am than I have in quite some time. So I sang...

Trees do bend, tho' straight and tall; so must we to others' call.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you to your heart where I will speak. 

Integrity and justice with tenderness you shall know.

The past several months I have felt as though I have been trying to make my way through the wilderness, uncertain of my direction, uncertain of what path to take, uncertain of so many things...  

But this helped remind me that all the answers lie within and I just need to keep listening.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new life.

You shall sleep secure with peace; faithfulness will be your joy.

Faithfulness will be my joy. 

Faithfulness to God, my family, and all the things God calls me to be.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new life.

Growing up Catholic comes with a lot of rules and regulations; rules and regulations that I admittedly don't always follow.

But growing up Catholic instills deep in the heart a sense of belonging, a feeling of unconditional acceptance, and a firm love for God regardless of whether you wander in the wilderness, feel lost or abandoned, or stray from Him entirely.  

I know my mom (and a number of priests and friends) would be disappointed in me to learn that Attend Mass wasn't at the top of my 'to-do' list last night. 

But I made the decision to love... 

I decided to go to Mass even when I didn't feel like going...

I chose to be faithful... 

And it led to joy.

Now I am off to tackle the rest of my 'to-do' list on this Ash Wednesday as 

I prepare to head to San Francisco for a few days.

I can't wait to see the Giant Redwoods!  I have dreamed of making this trip all my life!