Friday, December 31, 2010

Save some time to Dream

I stayed up and watched Letterman tonight. I wanted to see and hear the latest from John Mellencamp.
Sonny might make fun of me for admitting this, but I have been a fan of him since I was in high school & he was known as Johnny Cougar.
Admittedly, I haven't listened to John in years, not since I became acquainted with Pandora.
But none the less I wanted to stay up late.
I was not disappointed!
Mellencamp's new song, Save some time to dream had incredibly touching lyrics and in many ways spoke to me and my experiences this past year.
Perhaps they will speak to you too.





Save some time to dream
Save some time for yourself
Don’t let your time slip away
Or be stolen by somebody else

Save some time for those you love
For they’ll remember what you gave
Save some time for the songs you sing
And the music that you’ve made

Could it be that this is all there is?
Could it be there’s nothing more at all?
Save some time to dream
‘Cause your dream could save us all

Save some time for sorrow
Cause it will surely come your way
Prepare yourself for failure
It will give you strength some day

Try to keep your mind open
And accept your mistakes
Save some time for living
And always question your faith

Could it be that this is all there is?
Could it be there’s nothing more at all?
Save some time to dream
‘Cause your dream might save us all

Cast your eyes up to heaven
Oh what does that mean to you
Try not to be too judgmental
So others will not judge you

Save some time to think
Oh before you speak your mind
Many will not understand
And to them you must to be kind

Could it be that this is all there is?
Could it be there’s nothing more at all?
Save some time to dream
‘Cause your dream might save us all

Oh yeah

Your dream might save us all




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Coho Ave NW,Salem,United States

Monday, December 27, 2010

27 years ago...

Today is my son's birthday.
He is 27!
last year at this time I would not have guessed that he would be living on the west coast and within a few hours drive of us, but he does.
I don't have many pictures of him.
He is like me in that regard and prefers to remain behind the camera and not in front of it.

But a little over 6 months ago I was able to capture a picture of us together.

So this one is just for me.

Happy 27th son!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas

Christmas in our house traditionally begins with a big breakfast.
We do this 'big breakfast' only a couple times a year, generally Christmas & Easter.

This year consisted of:
3 lbs Bacon
3 lbs Link Sausage
1*1/2 bags of Ore Ida Hash Browns
18 Eggs / scrambled
16 large extra fluffy Bisquits
2 cups Gravy
And this year I added Mimosas.

Ok, just I had mimosas!

We've finished breakfast, cleaned up, and opened gifts.

The new Apple Airport (wireless Internet) has been installed and everyone in the house is either on their iphones, laptops, or iPads.
Including me!
But we are staying connected to loved ones both near and far!

Peace, Love &
Merry Christmas to all.





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Ladies Day

Today is Ladies Day at the Blue Elephant Car wash.

It didn't exactly feel like Ladies Day other than the $2 discount and the piece of chocolate I received at the carwash today.
I left the house early this morning in an attempt to do a little Christmas shopping.
When I say a little, I mean a little.
I set aside about $250 for gifts.
I imagine for some people $250.00 would be a considerable amount of money.
But with that $250 I am trying to buy gifts for 34 people.
That works out to be about $7.35 per person.

But in spite of the lack of money,
my tardiness in beginning this process,
the fact that I don't like shopping much at all,
I had a decent day!

I went home mid afternoon to find my lazy ass teenagers had done NOTHING!
I had asked them to clean the dirty dishes and pick up the house.
(After all I had it cleaned top to bottom only 4 short days ago.)

I then promptly left.
I have enjoyed my late afternoon at Boons, my half a tuna salad sandwich, my beer,
and am listening to the Rolling Stones overhead sing,
"I'm just waiting on a friend.
I just need someone I can cry to,
I need someone to protect,
Oooh Makin' love and breakin' hearts..."

You get the idea.

I have paid my bill and need to finish up the errands so I can get back home to the mess of whatever isn't yet done like; making dinner, laundry, wrapping gifts, and pouring a couple more batches of hard candy suckers into the molds.

Tomorrow,
I am happy to say I am heading to the coast, Pelican Pub & Brewery and an evening of tasting wonderful Winter Ales where I won't care what is done or left undone at home.

I can care about home on Thursday.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Getting in the Christmas Spirit

In my effort to get in the Christmas spirit I continued work on decorating the house and this evening finished up the "plush superheroes" for my grandsons.

This past Halloween Cale & Zack dressed as Batman & Spiderman.
Naturally I wanted to make them their own cuddly superheroes.

I'd searched all over for a pattern to use, but found nothing even close to what I had in mind.
I eventually settled on an old fashioned Raggedy Ann pattern that required a LOT of alterations.

The Superheroes took on a life of their own and ended up NOT looking anything like I set out to create.
But that's okay.
Sometimes life takes me places I don't expect to go.

My grandsons are
ornery and energetic.
They are constantly running
jumping, climbing, screaming,
wrestling, & tackling their way through the day.

But when things settle down (and on rare occasions of quiet) they are peaceful, loving, cuddly, and will snuggle up on my lap.

I wanted them to have superhero dolls that represent them.

I think I have achieved that.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Location:Coho Ave NW,Salem,United States

I need more olives!

A jumbled mess of my thoughts this morning...

I have been neglecting my blog the past 2 weeks.
That usually means I have been neglecting me.
Writing or blogging are usually signs that I am making time to pause, reflect, process, and share.
I haven't posted a blog and my journal remains untouched since my dad passed away.


Part of my absence is also due to my inability to pause or process right now.
Part of my absence is also due to not knowing where to begin.
So much has happened since dad's death.

We got home from KS a week ago.
Since then, I have simply been going thru the motions and trying to get things done.
I've managed to stay on top of the cleaning & laundry, menu making, grocery buying and cooking.

I have attended the girls concerts, mock trial, a Habitat for Humanity home dedication, a Blazer game, and I hung Christmas lights on the house.


With the Holidays close at hand there is still much preparing left to do in my Advent.

* I need to be starting my day, getting ready for Mass, and tackling my list of 'to-do's but I'm not even out of bed yet.

* It's been a crazy, busy, traveling, family/friend filled past 12 months.

* I have been blessed in so many ways.

* I am reminded of a prayer I was introduced to almost a decade ago...





* I need more olives!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Location:Westfarthing Way NW,Salem,United States

Saturday, December 04, 2010

God Speed dad!

Scarcely more than 24 hours ago I finished a blog while settling down for a night in the hospital with my dad.
It wasn't more than 10 minutes after finishing the blog that dad passed away.
Now,
tonight,
after only a 90 minute nap early this morning,
I have laid my head down.
Today was filled with so much blessing!
I can't begin the describe it all right now.
It was a very full day and tomorrow will be even more so.
For now, I need to rest.

Love to all of you!


Dad, I miss you already!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Briggs St,Wichita,United States

Friday, December 03, 2010

Where do I begin?

I don't know where to begin.
This morning began with a great sunrise in Oregon.



I got my 1st ever picture with Santa at PDX.



I saw some of the best "Kick my own ass pants" waiting to board the plane



An equally odd shuttle van at MCI.



And a sunset equally as gorgeous as today's sunrise.




And now I am back in Wichita.
I am right back at Via Christi regional Medical Center.
I am once again spending the night in the hospital with my dad.
Last time I was here they were searching for answers.
This time we have answers and dad's prognosis is bad.
The doctors say he may only have a day or so.
His body is giving out.
How can this be?
He only came here a few short months ago for a knee replacement.
He wanted to be in good shape to take mom to the Holy Land next year.
And now he is dying?
How does this happen?
This wasn't part of the plan!
But I suppose deep down I have always known that it isn't MY plan...ever!
I go from, disbelief, to grief, to determination, to acceptance, to blessing, to resignation, to confusion, to laughter...
bouncing around the emotional room like a high powered superball.
My dad isn't supposed to be dying!
But he is.
We are all gathering.
One more sibling is yet to arrive.
We hope to find the best way to Celebrate dad & his life.
And then we will have to learn how to continue to be family without his amazing presence!
It will not be an easy task!

Location:St Francis N,Wichita,United States

Saturday, November 27, 2010

ThanksGiving

I learned a lot about Thanksgiving growing up in a large family.
Mom & Dad taught me and my siblings to recognize our blessings and to be thankful for what we had.
I remember conversations over the years as we grew up where I, or one of my younger siblings, would ask mom or dad, "Are we rich?"
Without hesitation the response was always, "yes!"

Who ever posed the initial question would then follow up with naming the possession we didn't have,
the toy so and so down the street had,
how big their friend's house was,
or how many televisions the neighbors had.
Mom & Dad would explain that those are just things, just possessions.
What makes a person rich is love and our family has a lot of love.
They would go on to say what makes a person rich is how much they are willing to give,
not always thinking about what they can get.

As young kids we didn't always like this answer.
I am sure somewhere in the back of our minds we were wondering how love would be able to get us that coveted toy under the Christmas tree.

But as we grew older, we learned it isn't about ThanksPossessions,
and its not ThanksTaking.
No one ever called it
ThanksHealthy,
ThanksFriendship,
or ThanksFamily
yet all those things are blessings I am very thankful for.

I also have never heard anyone call it
ThanksTurkey
even though I am extra thankful my turkey turned out fabulous!

Its always been ThanksGiving!

I had a wonderful ThanksGiving in spite of it being rather small in comparison to our ThanksGivings of old.
We numbered 7 around the table and had enough food for twice that many.
I was a bit sad about that.
Not sad about having leftovers, but sad about missing the family that couldn't be with us.

I remembered years past when the house was brimming with family & friends.
Mom & dad would invite others to join us who had no family to celebrate with.
I thought about doing this, but I don't know anyone here in Salem to invite to join us.
That made me kind of sad too.

But what lifts me up is having fun with those that are here.
Listening to the kids laugh, tease, and play together is a lot to be thankful for.
We had a couple of Trail Blazer tickets for last nights game, but the kids all voted to stay home and just hang out together.
I like knowing that they, too, are thankful for the time they have together.

So yesterday I set out to find a way to "Be ThanksGiving".
I wanted to find someone to give the Trail Blazer tickets to.

In the past I have found city workers, or construction people to give the tickets to and I have enjoyed the excitement on their face as they think about going to their first NBA game.
Evidently the city employees had the day off because there were no work crews to be found.

I headed to a small sports bar thinking surely I could find someone there who would appreciate upper deck cheap seats for a Trail Blazer game.

As I sat at the bar enjoying a beer, I took in the small crowd of regulars.
I noticed a group of 3 young couples, but that didn't seem likely as I only had 2 tickets,
A husband and wife were there (the wife was in a wheelchair), but it didn't seem likely they would venture that far from home late at night.
There was an older gentleman who lost his wife about a month ago,
and a bar acquaintance of his who had just returned from Nebraska and Kansas.
I like the 'coincidence' of this.
I, too, had just returned from Nebraska and Kansas.
So I offered the tickets to him.
While his face lit up and the idea was enticing, he said,
"I better not.  My wife would kill me.  I have too much family at my house and I was lucky to get away for a beer."
Then he glanced around the room and said, "but I think I know someone who would love these".
He headed past me and walked up to a young man who had just sat down at the bar and ordered a beer.
The older gentleman said to the younger one,
"Hey, I'm not asking for a date or anything, but do you have plans for tonight?" and then he handed him the tickets.

I love watching the look on a persons face as it goes from confusion, to understanding, to uncertainty, and then to joy!
Yes!
I think I found a home for tickets!

As it turns out they young man recently sold a car to a Trail Blazer player, he has been doing some promotional work for the team, and his employer is a sponsor of the Trail Blazers,
yet he has never gone to a game.

He hesitantly asked me,  "how much do you want for the tickets?"
"Nothing", I said.
"Can I at least buy your drink?" he asked.
"Already paid for."  I replied.
I said, "It's ThanksGiving!"

I tipped my glass to him and thought of my mom & dad.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

ADYC Day 2

Well its been 18+ hours since I crawled off of the top bunk. I just crawled back up and am hoping for a lights out soon.
But in the meantime I thought I would quickly reflect on the days events.
It began with a beautiful sunrise


And ended with an even more gorgeous sunset.


In between there was much song, dance and prayer.
Both Caroline and Jacquie made it up on stage in front of the 600 or so young Catholics.


Caroline as she helped with opening prayer.


And Jax for a competition to spell the word Magisterium; one of the 3 pillars of the Church.

The closing prayer service was quite moving and so was my opportunity to lead some small group sharing.
I do miss youth ministry.

Just a half a day tomorrow lies ahead.
But it will be a very long half day beginning with Breakfast outside in the bitter cold.



It's supposed to be even colder than this morning.
Yikes!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, November 19, 2010

ADYC Seaside Oregon

I am on the top bunk in an old barrack at Camp Rilea near Astoria Oregon.


I am sharing space with 12 other ladies who take longer to get ready for bed than anyone else I've ever had to share space with.
I am here as a chaperone for the biennial Archdiocesan youth conference.
I am glad to be here with Jacquie and Caroline and I hope they enjoy the weekend.



I'm not quite sure how to get down off this thing in the dark without stepping on my bunkmate ( who's name I don't yet know) or worse falling!
More tomorrow!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:SE Dolphin Ave,Warrenton,United States

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Being 50

Today is my first day in my 2nd century.
I fully intend to make it to the big 100!
I've had some great birthday wishes, prayers and phone calls from wonderful friends.
I know I am blessed!
Tonight it is nearing midnight and the end of my first full day of being 50.
So far, so good.
I rented a cabin at Silver Falls through next Wednesday.
This time I am in cabin #1.
I did NOT anticipate the change in amenities ( no more small frig or microwave ) over the years I have learned to adapt and improvise. So that is what I am doing for the next few day; adapting to the environment.

Another nice change is there is now cell phone reception up here in the mountains. At least I think this is a nice change.

Sometimes I wish my phone didn't work.
I prefer to 'de-tach' from the world. But at least if the kids need to get it in touch, they can.
It's a good thing.

More later
I have to make the 3rd attempt at waking my husband and getting him to bed. ... He crashed on our small cabin couch after many hours of attempting to get a nice fire started.
But vacation means no alarm clock!
Hooray!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Silver Falls Cabin #1

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Happy Birthday to me.

Today I am 50!
Half a century old.
It's hard to believe.

Life has kept me extra busy since getting back from Kansas.

I've had no time to blog which means my head is too full of thoughts and trivia, events and emotions.

Hopefully in the next few days life will slow down a bit.
I am heading up to Silver Falls for a few days.
I am so looking forward to the solitude I find in the mountains.

But for now, I have a busy day ahead.

On a side note:
2 of my girls are off to a Jazz festival for school.
This is the first time I've seen their 'performance dress'.
Clearly they are growing up too!



Time passes so quickly!

P.S. My gift to myself.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Back in Oregon

It's been a long journey today alone...
1102 miles and nearly 17 hours of driving.
But we made it to Oregon soil!

I left nearly 2 weeks ago and have spent all but 3 of the past 13 nights on a hospital fold out chair/bed or the floor

Tonight this queen size Super 8 bed feels wonderful!


Now I am unwinding, watching Harry Met Sally and waiting for Jeff to call after the Blazer game.

For the most part the drive went well, alex got more highway experience, we saw a gorgeous sunset


Outside of a 30 minute delay in Pine Bluff Wyoming while some enormous, oversized, contraption exited the interstate our travels went well.

YouTube Video

Tomorrow our drive home should be quite manageable.
I'll get home just in time to unpack, re-pack and head to the coast for Pelican Pub's Brewers Dinner on Saturday.

Throughout my days and my nights my mind is continually drawn back to my dad. It was a very difficult, emotional goodbye.

The news from Wichita is good so far.
Dad is better.
No fever since they started steroids.
We are hoping this is the answer.
Time will tell.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Goodfellow Ln,Ontario,United States

Monday, November 01, 2010

Another semi sleepless night

Tonight marks my 6th overnighter at the hospital.
(I only slept in my own bed 15 out of the 31 days in October.)
I'm tired, worn out, stiff, and desperate to ignore my lower back pain from lifting dad and sleeping on a fold out chair.


But I wouldn't be anywhere else especially if this is my last night here with him.
Reinforcements arrived tonight in my older sister.
Although she can only stay a few days, it's time for me to begin my trek west.
I am hoping a brief stop over to see the grandsons is in the cards.
But that is to be determined later.
For now, I need to tend to dad's fever.

P.S. The last time I slept in my own bed a nearly full moon filled the night sky. I loved watching it creep up above the horizon and follow us on our journey east.
Now the moon is waning.


(At least I think that is the term when it is getting smaller.)

The moon won't be visible on our drive home, but I will still know it is there following us as we head west.

It's similar with my faithfulness; sometimes it's not as obvious, or visible to others, buts it is a constant in my life.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:St Francis N,Wichita,United States

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Faithfulness





Faith;
* confidence or trust in a person or thing,
* a belief that is not based on truth,
* a belief in a God or in the doctrines or teachings of a religion.

I have had a most faithful week by any and/or all definitions.
This faithfulness has not come easy at times, while in other moments it came most naturally and was quite comfortable.

Caring for my dad who has been battling a fever of unknown origin for 2 months now has me relying on faith in varied ways;
faith in the Doctor's and the decisions they are making,
faith in the staff who cares for him,
faith in myself as I support and give care,
and faith in a God who loves us and guides us through life here as we know it.

In my moments of strength I am more confident, faith filled, and trusting that answers are just around the corner.
In moments of strength it's easy to believe in the near future these health concerns will be a faint memory and soon my dad will be back to his usual ornery self.

In moments of weakness I am filled with uncertainty, I doubt and am filled with fear.
In moments of weakness I struggle to know what is right, if dad will be able to recover, but most of all I fear losing my dad.

Tonight it feels like he is slipping farther & farther away from this life as we know it.
I have worked to maintain a positive attitude and cheery tone in my voice, trying to hide my fears and my tears from dad.
And I have prayed,
A lot!

My faithfulness to this God I can't see is there,
I know it,
I feel it,
I need it.

I went to Mass right here in the St. Francis hospital chapel, a chapel I used to go to on occasion as a child and young adult.
As much as the hospital has grown and changed in the past 30 years, the chapel remains in the center of the now Via Christi Medical Center, nearly unchanged.




There is comfort in the familiar in times of doubt, uncertainty, and fear.
It is my faith I lean on that helps me stay strong.

Dad's last 2 days have not been good. He is so weak, his fever seldom subsides, and he is only somewhat aware of his surroundings.
Yet this evening when Fr. Jerome stopped by dad was his most alert, and was able to converse with Fr.

Fr. administered the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick, gave dad a new rosary and prayer card. I hung them up where he would see them when he opened his eyes.
Then dad managed to eat his pie with vanilla ice cream of course!

I am blessed to be here with him at this time and share in this stage of my dad's life even as difficult as it has been.

I know God's Grace more intimately because of my week spent with my dad.
This time here in Wichita has been an awesome gift!
It will be very difficult to leave without some answers and some hope.
But I am trying to remain faithful and remember that scripture doesn't say,
'Be still and know WHY.
it says
Be still and know I am God

Tonight has been another difficult night for dad, which is why I am blogging at 3:40am.
He is restless after throwing up and I am fearful of him aspirating.

So it goes...


P.S.
It's now just after 5am.
I awoke from a 'bad' dream to find dad throwing up again. But I didn't even mind because real life was a much better scenario than the fears of my subconscious.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:St Francis N,Wichita,United States

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Finding My Power

Today was my 3rd day and this is my 2nd overnighter caring for my dad.


I am in awe and admiration of my Mom and siblings who have been doing this for weeks now.

I am fatigued, frustrated, and finding myself lacking in the skills needed for this task.

Someone once told me they didn't think I was a very mothering/nursing type.
I will admit to being hurt by that observation at the time.
I am a bit older and a little wiser now and can admit that they were right.

Care giving is not my gift.
That is not to say that I don't feel blessed to be here with my dad.
I do!
I wouldn't be anywhere else right now.
However, I can recognize I am not the best at caring for the sick.

In the late night hours, by the light of my cell phone, I am trying to re-read parts of the book, The Art of Power.
This book helps ground me.
It reminds me to be faithful.
It brings me peace of mind.

One of my favorite quotes (perhaps I blogged about this in the past) is:

"To be beautiful means to be yourself.
You don't need to be accepted by others.
You need to accept yourself....
True happiness and true power lie in understanding yourself,
accepting yourself,
having confidence in yourself."



I needed to see this quote again.

I now understand and can readily admit that caregiver is not necessarily my forte.
And I'm okay saying that.

I guess that means I am moving towards self acceptance.

Now I just need to work on having confidence in myself.

But for now, I need to get my contacts out and try to rest while dad is semi-asleep.

Tomorrow I'll work on continued self acceptance and that elusive confidence.


And I hope to manage enough time for a nice hot shower!


The surgery for dad didn't happen today.
As he was on the surgical table awaiting the final phase of anesthesia, the surgeon was called out for another emergency.
Dad has been rescheduled for Monday. That means at least an additional week here in the hospital.

It takes a long time for one patient to become well known in a hospital.
Usually patients are referred to as 'the patient in room 7057' because they come and go so frequently.
But unfortunately not my dad.
He has been here so long everyone knows his name.
Dad has been here for a month plus more.
Even I have lost track of the time.
Sadly, I think this place is becoming his "Cheers."

I hope I can find my power and peace so I can share that with my dad and those who care for him.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, October 25, 2010

In Your Love, ...

I've had this song running through my thoughts the past couple of days.
I woke up to the lyrics ...
"In your love, my salvation lies" ...
playing in my head.

I needed to share it with you.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgNDWKq0alE&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Title : Orange Sky
Artist : Alexi Murdoch
Well I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
Yes I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
With my brother standing by
With my brother standing by
I said brother, you know you know
It's a long road we've been walking on
Brother you know it is, you know it is
Such a long road we've been walking on

And I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
With my sister standing by
With my sister standing by
I said sister, here is what I know now
Here is what I know now
Goes like this
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, in your love, in your love

But sister you know I'm so weary
And you know sister
My hearts been broken
Sometimes, sometimes
My mind is too strong to carry on
Too strong to carry on

When I am alone
When I've thrown off the weight of this crazy stone
When I've lost all care for the things I own
That's when I miss you, that's when I miss you, that's when I miss you
You who are my home
You who are my home
And here is what I know now
Here is what I know now
Goes like this
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, in your love, in your love

Well I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
Yes I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
With my brother and my sister standing by
With my brother and my sister standing by
With my brother and my sister standing by


Location:Wichita

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Home Again

After 2 long travel days, I pulled up in front of my childhood home.

It was a long day beginning at the western border of Wyoming.
For the most part the weather was agreeable.



I am just not used to such strong winds blowing through wide open spaces.
It was mostly cloudy the better part of WY and we had off and on showers.
For the brief time we were in Colorado we could see rain in the distance,


but didn't have to worry about rain slick roads.
By the time we hit the Kansas border we had beautiful clear skies.



And we even got to watch another nearly full moon rising.

My son asked me if it felt "weird" coming back to KS and Wichita,



I said, "'no, it felt comfortable.
In many ways, this still feels like home.
It's my CHILDHOOD home.

Negotiating the highways, main thoroughfares, and small side streets... (Even in the dark of night...) Are still easy for me and it's been nearly 20 years since we moved away.

What is most difficult about coming home now isn't the familiarity or the UNfamiliarity of the streets, directions, getting around town, or how quickly old landmarks change.
What is most difficult about coming home now is knowing things have changed.

This trip home...
Well, ...
Simply ...
things are different.

What is weird is realizing I am much older.
I have children nearing the age I was when we moved away.
Usually when I come back home I feel young again.
Or at least younger!
But tonight is different.

When did my parents home begin smelling like my grandparents home?

It's not a 'bad' smell.
In fact, it's a 'homey' smell.

There was always something familiar and comfortable about the smell of my grandparents home on Dayton St.
It was there each time I visited from early childhood through my adult years.
It was more faint when I stepped into the house last June, but it was there even though grandma is now in a care center.

I smelled that same familiar, comfortable smell tonight when I walked in the door here on Coolidge.
But this is my parents home,
My childhood home,
Not my grandparents home!

I recognized tonight that time is passing, ...and too quickly!

For pete's sake, I am sleeping in my dad's bed because he is still in the hospital!

As Ben would say,
'Time is turning my tomorrows into yesterdays.'

Each Day I will continue to try....
To Learn
To Laugh
To Grow
To Live
And most of all
To Love


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

855 miles & 3 states down

Yesterday's journey to Wichita went well.
We put 855 miles and 3 states behind us.
We were blessed with
decent traffic (once we got through Portland),


A double rainbow in Baker City,
And a gorgeous full moon somewhere in Idaho.


Alex is a great traveling companion and the audio books help keep me alert.
Perhaps I could have pushed on further last night, but the rain and thick fog compromised my visibility and I promised numerous family members I would "be careful".


Thankfully Motel 6 left the light on for us in Evanston, WY.


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