What I mean by that is that I am loved by my God
just as I am.
I sometimes get caught up in looking at my faults and failings.
I see all the things I didn't do, should have done, and failed to say.
I recognize all by myself
(and sometimes from others pointing them out to me)
that I make a lot of mistakes.
When I was younger I recall feeling more confident,
more self assured.
I don't recall second guessing,
always feeling in doubt,
and wondering...
Am I making the right decision?
Was I wiser then?
or
am I more wise now?
What I do know is that I am burdened,
I am wounded,
I am broken.
I don't feel bad about being burdened, wounded, or broken.
I don't feel compelled to repair myself,
not any more.
Because the kind of hurt I have from being wounded and broken can only be healed by my God.
I know that, again.
I know that the unconditional love of my God is what will heal, what will set me free from what weighs me down and makes my heart heavy. It is the love that comes from the One who delights in me for being me, for being unique, my creator.
I had forgotten that for a while.
I have struggled for some time with trusting, having faith, believing in my God.
But I am working my way back.
Little reminders keep finding their way to my spirit
and give me hope.
I will keep at it.
I will 'keep the faith'.
But all the while I will remember...
I am alright, already!
No comments:
Post a Comment